More Like Me

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now, but I have been completely unsure how or where to start to explain what it's all about. There's been a deep "knowing" in me for weeks that things are not as they should be, that I am not as I should be. I've had some rough and tumble shakeups in the last few months, and while I've done my best to keep an Isaiah 26:3 attitude, perfect peace through a heart/mind fixed on the Lord, I confess that many of my friends would tell you, I've been less than peaceful most days. Why is that? How do we accomplish that peace? A friend quoted for me last week, "Prayer is not overcoming God's reluctance, but laying hold of His willingness." I liked it instantly. Lord, what is it you are willing to do in my life? What do you want me to ask you for? Yesterday, I got very discouraged, and I wrote to a precious friend about it. She responded today with a prayer for me, not that God would grant me the things that I want, but that He would give me the things that I need - the things that make me look more like Jesus. Becoming like Christ, being refined through pain and trial is becoming more like me, the me that He has designed me to be. If you're thoroughly confused, I do apologize. This is just my attempt at processing some of the things I've been thinking about recently. I want to look more like Jesus daily, and I am thankful for friends who are His faithful servants, speaking truth to me in love about how my circumstances can be used to accomplish that when I take my eyes off of me and place them back on Him.
So, how do you respond to this post? This is what I've been doing today. Recount His faithfulness. Tell me one or many of the ways that God has proven himself "gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy, good to all." Let's rehearse His goodness together and look for the ways He is accomplishing His good will in our lives. I can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Sweet Reminders

The LORD is kind and merciful,
slow to get angry, full of unfailing love.
The LORD is good to everyone.
He showers compassion on all his creation.
All of your works will thank you, LORD,
and your faithful followers will bless you.
They will talk together about the glory of your kingdom;
they will celebrate examples of your power.
They will tell about you mighty deeds and about the majest and glory of your reign.
For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule generation after generation.
Psalm 145:7-13 (NLT)

In Vote of Youth Choir

I woke up this morning with a song in my head that I haven't sung in YEARS! It's something we learned in 8th grade youth choir, and I seriously haven't thought about it in forever, but it absolutely perfectly captured the place I was in. So, I am writing today in favor of churches having youth choirs and teaching students to sing "songs, hymns and spiritual songs, making melodies in their hearts unto the Lord." You never know when one of those might come back to a person in an hour of need. Here are the words that blessed me today ...

Nobody knows how weak I am better than You.
Nobody knows all of my needs better thatn You.
Nobody has the power to change me to what I was born to be.
Jesus, be strong in my weakness ... empower me!
Empower me! Like a rushing river flowing to the sea.
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit flowing now through me,
'Till I'm living as Your child, victorious and free -- send the power of Your Love,
Empower me!

A Little More Serious

Last December, I had the incredible honor of speaking at my Great-Grandmother's funeral. Ina Rea Moore was truly one of the most amazing women I have ever known, and to share her name and be in her family line is blessing and responsibility for which there are few words. She lived to be 97 years old, and the people whose lives she touched are still being counted. I think everyone knows that Great-Grandmothers do not live forever, but losing her was still difficult. She was relatively healthy right up to the final four months of her life -- even had a driver's license until the last year (that's an issue for another blog about the DMV!). Anyway. :-) I just wanted to tell you what an amazing woman she was, what a rich heritage she passed on, and how much I still miss our regular phone chats.
This week, my family was dealt another painful blow. My grandfather, "Pappy" has what appears to be terminal cancer. The doctors feel it is too far spread for any effective treatment. He is home now, resting, and the plan is to make him as comfortable as possible and allow him to be in familiar surroundings with his family for as long as he has left on this earth. From time to time I will attempt to use this space to offer a bio of who he is, to provide you with a few snapshots of the role this man plays in my heritage. Today, I am thinking about memories of him from my childhood. We used to go to the grocery store together in Corpus Christi, and no matter what else we put in the buggy, there were two things you could count on. Dr. Pepper and Fritos! He'd let me ride on the bottom of the buggy and push me through the store, even when I was way too old for such things. :-) Pappy grew up on a farm in Dilley, Texas. His mother died when he was 12, but he has always told me I have her brown eyes. Most of his friends called knew him as "Dilley." (Heck, if my name was Horace Hale, I might go by Dilley, too!) So, as a child, one of my favorite games was to holler through their old frame house, "Silly Dilley!" and then, I'd wait for him to come running. It never took long. I would scream and squeal and hide behind anything I could find. He'd get down on all fours and hunt me out, then tickle me until I promised I was truly very sorry and would never say it again (until I could get far enough away to run and hide some more, that is!).
Please keep my family in your prayers over the coming months. Mimi lost her mother in December, and now is losing her husband. My mom lost her grandmother, and now prepares to say goodbye to her dad. We all need a extra measure of grace in these days.

A Blog About Blogging

Wow! I had no idea. Seriously. I had no idea how many bloggers there truly were in the world and how much random commentary people could come up with. It's fascinating. I am quickly being sucked in. Every blog I visit has a link to another blog, and I thinkg, "Hmm. I wonder what that person has to say today," and I follow the link, and I soon, I'm lost for hours with hardly any bread crumbs to follow on my way back to my own meager site. Thanks to all of you who've checked things out and let me know you're reading. Truly fabulous! I just didn't know.

Last Minute Fun

My favorite kind of fun is last minute fun. The kind where you wake up one morning and decide to do something randomly fun! It is especially good during the middle of a week when the rest of life is feeling like a beating. :-) So, yesterday morning when Jake asked if I wanted to meet him and Dodie at Six Flags after work, I thought that was a GREAT idea! Then, Suzanne agreed, too. She even had to run out to Old Navy after teaching all day to find something appropriate for our adventure. And, finally, the ultimate lover of randomness - Josh - jumped on the band wagon with us after we were already on our way! Something about knowing it was a work/school night and we were going to ride roller coasters just made me particularly giddy. Hyper Horton was out in full force! :-) Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we may have set a record. Between 5:15 and 6:45 p.m., we rode: The Splash Ride, Superman (I hate this ride!), Mr. Freeze, Batman (twice!), and the Titan. Woo Hoo! Let me thank the other four who were with me for making me feel so young. Between Jake's hurting knees, Suz's back, and Josh's very pale face at the end of the Titan, I was quite proud of myself for being able to stand up straight! For those of you who've known me more than 2 years, this is particularly exciting, since I had never even been on a roller coaster prior to purchasing my first Six Flags season pass in the summer of 2003. :-)

Did I Tell You?

Did I tell you I went to Central Asia for two weeks this summer? I did. It was a prayer walking trip. Three friends and I went to meet up with workers there, tour the cities, and pray. And, I mean PRAY. I just thought I knew what prayer was before I began getting geared up for this trip. I had NO idea! None. One of the workers there described prayer walking as "moving rocks." You know, like some parts of the Christian walk are about planting seeds, or watering seeds that have been planted, or even harvesting what's grown. Prayer walking is moving rocks out of the way so the soil can be planted so the seeds can be sown! It's so preliminary, but such a rich blessing. I've been on a lot of trips in my life. None of them compared in intensity or significance with the spiritual investment we made in this place. Daily, we walked the streets of towns where the name of Jesus Christ has never been publicly praised and asked the Lord to bless these people with the knowledge of His presence, the Good News of salvation. It was a truly awesome thing to look someone in the eye, lifting up a prayer for them in your heart, knowing you may very well be the first person ever to bring them before the Father. Wow. Those two weeks have radically changed the way I walk and view life here. And, one day soon, I'll publish a blog about how God's been answering my prayer walks here! He's good people, so good!

I Think I'm on a Roll ...

This blogging thing is fun! :-) I'm sure you're wondering why I have so much time on my hands today. I don't! It's just a ploy to avoid homework for as long as possible. I have PLENTY of reading I could be doing, but hey! Why read when you can write? Right? :-) This is life without the details these days. I'll summarize it by recounting a conversation the Lord and I had yesterday morning. It went a little like this.

6:30 a.m. Alarm plays. I open my eyes, look at the ceiling, and remember everything going on that I have to face in the day.
ME: "Lord, I canNOT do this."
Patient, gentle Voice deep down inside: "I know. I didn't expect YOU to do it."
ME: "Oh."

Then today, a friend sent me this verse ... "I would have despaired had I not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14

I hope you experience His goodness today!

The Whole Fam Damily ...

Why stop at just the kiddos! Here's a pic of all of us gathered after church over the Fourth of July weekend. Are we cheesy or what?! I LOVE these people! Thanks to my dad, Big Dave, for the addition of names to this pic.

Wonder Women

In May, I moved into a three bedroom duplex with two of the most amazing women ever. We live on Wonder Drive and yes, I do answer to Wonder Woman! :-) Dana and Dia are fun, easy to live with, excellent secret keepers, and very godly encouragers. Stay tuned for more on the exploits of life in the Wonderland!

Did I Mention Daniel and Nathan?

These guys are the other loves of my life. Nathan and Daniel are my big buddies -- we play together whenever I visit the rest of my family in the Rio Grande Valley. Nate Dawg will be two in October and Big Dan's been three since May!

Meet Jaxon

I'm an only child. This means that I don't have nieces and nephews. However, I do have cousins that keep me humble much like brothers and sisters are prone to do. Because of the wonderfully closely knit family I enjoy, their children are very much like nieces and nephews to me. I get to love on them, send them cool stuff, brag about them, and send them home for their parents to discipline. It's true greatness! This is Jaxon Dane Reagan, born at 6:31 A.M. on Saturday, August 20, 2005. And, yes, I did stay up all night in a very cold waiting room eagerly anticipating his arrival, and I will remind him of that often in the future. :-)

In the beginning ...

For months now, I've been reading other people's blogs ... I feel like I've been spying on their worlds. Thanks to all of the links everyone puts on their sites, I read blogs written by people I don't even know! It' s a little creepy, honestly, but it keeps me entertained. I have often thought that I just don't have enough to write (that I want the world to read) to keep a blog going, but with the start of a new semester and a lot of things going on in my family and the prospects of graduation just a year away now, I am thinking I might have a few things to share with the world. This way, people who want to hear about it, can eavesdrop, and the rest of the world has one less mass email to delete. :-)
Stay tuned!