It's Beginning to Rain ...

I’m coming to believe that nothing inspires a true fear of the Lord in me like a demonstration of Jesus’ magnificence.  This has been one seriously “Crazy or Jesus” week, and as I sit here at the end of it, having just witnessed another marvelous provision of God, I am struggling to find words for the things I am thinking and feeling.

This week alone, I have seen the Lord speak, counsel, and provide by His Spirit, by His Word, and by His Church in such specific and unique ways that I can find no other explanation for them but Christ alone. 

And, I vacillate between two responses to such grandeur. 

First, I am reminded of the story of Peter’s encounter with Jesus in Luke 5.  Having fished all night to no avail, Jesus comes to the fishermen and commands them to let down their nets one more time on the opposite side of the boat.  They are doubtful, but obedient, and they pull up a catch so large it strains their nets.  And Peter responds to Jesus, “Depart from me; I am a sinful man!” 

To be allowed to experience the grace of God in such personal ways tempts me to cry out, “God, don’t you know whom you are blessing?!  I am a sinful woman.   It’s too much.  It’s too wonderful.  It’s more than I can take!” But, Peter didn’t yet understand the grace and mercy of Christ.  He did not know that all his sin would be covered by Christ’s righteousness.  He didn’t know he could boldly approach the throne of grace and find mercy.  This leads me to my second response …

It’s ironic that I wrote earlier this week about praying for rain and carrying an umbrella because what I’m discovering today is that I’d much rather stand in the rain, face turned up, arms spread wide, and allow this incredible awareness of God’s extravagance to wash over me than to hold up an umbrella to shield me from it. 

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7

Summer Reading List Recommendations

This summer has afforded me the luxury of doing a lot of reading, and I've got some books I'd like to recommend.  There's no particular order to this madness, just a list of what I've read so far.

1.  This Just In by Bob Schieffer ... I picked this one up on the clearance shelf at Half-Price Books, and it's been a delightful read.  I didn't know much about Bob Schieffer or his career, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that he is a Fort Worth native.  Many of his stories center around places very near and dear to my heart!
2.  Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers ... So so good.  I'm super late to the party on this series.  I can't even explain why I put it off for so long, but I cannot say the last time a fictional work had such a profound impact on my spiritual thought life.  Remarkable.
3.  The Search for God and Guinness by Stephen Mansfield... I'm not done with this one yet, but I'm enjoying it enough that I figure it's okay to tell you about it.  This is the story of the Guinness family of brewers from Ireland and how their faith has impacted their family and so many others over whom they've had influence.  Fascinating.
4.  The Mountain Between Us by Charles Martin ... Charles Martin is by far and away my favorite fiction writer. He weaves a story and paints a picture with such captivating detail.   A friend suggested his writing to me a little over a year ago.  I read the first book, then went out and bought everything else he'd written.  This latest story did not disappoint in any way.  Beautiful.
5.  The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns ... Wow.  This was the surprise of the summer.  I downloaded an audio version of this book for free from www.christianaudio.com, and had it saved on my computer for several months before deciding to give it a try.  I am so thankful I did.  Richard Stearns is the US President of World Vision, and the first section of this book is the story of his own unlikely arrival at that position.  He has such a gift for blending story and scripture and statistics and history into a challenge for believers.  I cannot recommend this book strongly enough.
6.  Radical by David Platt ... I hate a band wagon.  Since everyone I knew was talking about this book, I almost didn't pick it up at all.  Besides, I'd heard that if I'd already read Francis Chan's Crazy Love, then I didn't have to read Platt.  However, I do love books on cd, so when Mardel ran this one on sale half-price, I picked it up and put it in my car.  I'm now wishing everyone I know would read/listen to this book.
7. The O'Malley Series by Dee Henderson ... putting this on my list is kind of like admitting there's some Miley Cyrus on my summer playlist.  It's pure, unadulterated fun.  This series of stories about a family of orphans who decided to share a last name and form a bond that carries them long into adulthood was a wonderful escape.  I can't say it challenged me spiritually or taught me anything about life in general, but it did help me appreciate my friend-family and make me smile a lot.

Praying for Rain and Carrying an Umbrella

Occasionally, I am impressed to pray something so specifically that I feel convinced it could only be from the Lord.  And, for a few days, I will pray it fervently.  Then, seeing no immediate effects or rewards, the fervency wanes.  I may pray it once or twice a week, eventually resorting to a rare mention of it in my prayers.  And, generally, when I’ve all but forgotten that I ever felt called to ask for whatever that thing was, the Lord provides.  He answers out of His abundance, and I am completely stunned.  I’m as caught off guard by the answer as if I’d never asked for it, as if I’d never believed that the prompting for the asking came from Him in the first place.  It’s a silly cycle really.

Two weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who’s been riding a perpetual emotional roller coaster in prayer for the last few years.  She believes she knows what the Lord has said to her, and she believes He’s affirmed that original message several times over.  But, nothing in her present circumstances indicates that an answer is on the way, so she doubts and fears and frets.   As I listened to her, I finally asked what I felt was the critical question, “Friend, what if you just decided to believe God?” What if you decided that He’s big enough to show you if you’re wrong, but as long as He continues to affirm His original word to you, you’re going to stand firm in that belief against all doubts or evidence to the contrary? 

Bold advice.  Easy to dispense.

Two days later, I hopped on my own roller coaster.  I found myself fretting at the feet of Jesus, wringing my hands and telling him all about my distress over His delayed answer to my very earnest request (the one He’d placed there!).  And, as if someone had pressed the “play” button on a recording of my conversation with my friend, I heard my own voice come back to me.  “Friend, what if you just decided to believe God?  What if you decided that He’s big enough to show you if you’re wrong, but as long as He continues to affirm His original word to you, you’re going to stand firm in that belief against all doubts or evidence to the contrary?”   I literally shook my head.  What if indeed …

A few days ago, I saw a church sign.  Now, I’m not a huge fan of church signs, the ones with the pithy sayings.  I generally find them cheesy at best, and too often obnoxious.  This one might have been a little bit of both, but it still got my attention.  It read simply, “If you’re praying for rain, be sure you carry an umbrella.”  I immediately began to wonder what it would look like to carry an umbrella – in other words, to live and act as though I expected my prayers to be answered at any moment.  How would my thinking change?  What would I do differently?  How would my conversations change?

In Joshua 6:1, the Bible says the city of Jericho was tightly shut up and nobody was getting in or out, but the Lord said to Joshua, “See I have delivered Jericho into your hands …”  Joshua would still have to march around the city wall and shout to see it fall, but Jericho was his from the moment God promised it.  He could carry an umbrella even though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  

Thoughts from Psalm 81

Oh that My people would listen to Me,

That Israel would walk in My ways!

I would quickly subdue their enemies

And turn My hand against their adversaries.

Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him,

And their time of punishment would be forever.

But I would feed you with the finest of wheat,

And with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.

Psalm 81:13-16

As I set out this morning to talk about this passage, I'm afraid I won't be able to do it justice.  I'm afraid I won't be able to clearly communicate how these words arrested my thoughts today.  I am so guilty of loving to read the good things in scripture, the ways the Lord says He'll bless obedient people, but completely glossing over the dire warnings for the disobedient.  I have spoken frequently of Isaiah 30:18, and how the Lord longs to be gracious and rises to show us compassion, but just because one longs for something doesn't mean that longing can be fulfilled.  God cannot honor disobedience.  

This morning, as I read Psalm 81, I was reminded of that truth anew.  It's as if the Lord says, "If Israel, my people, would just walk obediently, I would do so many incredible things for them!  I want so badly for them to turn and listen and obey so that I can not just satisfy them, but pour out abundance on them!"  

Then my heart was pierced by verse 15, "Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him ..." My thoughts exploded with a resounding question, "What does it mean to pretend obedience?"  It's a frightening thought because somehow, deep down inside, I know it's something I'm guilty of doing.  Pretending obedience.  Faking obedience.  Doing the right things with the wrong heart.  God says those who do that, hate Him and are faced with eternal punishment.  It's serious.

Thankfully, we know that the righteous redemption of Jesus has taken away eternal punishment for all who call on Him, but it is still a sobering reminder of how seriously God views disobedience.  And, what His heart's desire is for His children.  

"But I would feed you with the finest of wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." My prayer this morning is that I would not just be someone God wants to bless, but that I would be an obedient someone God can and will bless in the ways that He longs to do. 

A Quarter Century?!?

How bad is it when you start to feel embarrassed to tell someone how long you've been a Christian because it makes you sound old?  :-)
Today marks 25 years since the night I first asked Jesus to come into my heart, since I first accepted His gift of eternal life and salvation, since He justified, redeemed, sanctified, regenerated ... Often, my own theological education gets in the way of allowing me to fully celebrate this day because I'm afraid I might say it wrong and offend someone or sound like heretic to another.  Sometimes, I still wonder if I have a clue what all those big words mean.
I definitely had no idea what any of them meant on that day.  All I knew was that I was a sinner, and that God was holy (which meant He couldn't dwell with sinners), and that if I wanted to make things right with God and spend eternity in heaven with Him (which I definitely did), I was gonna need some help from His perfect Son, Jesus. Today, I feel like the blind man to whom Jesus gave sight. When people started asking him about Jesus, he exclaimed, "All I know is that I was blind, and now I see!" (John 9:25)
There are a lot of things I've done in the last 25 years of which I am not proud at all.  There are many things I'd rather forget.  But, knowing Jesus, trusting Him with each new day, taking refuge in His cross -- that's the best thing that's ever happened to me.  In Galatians 6:14, Paul said it this way, "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Let it be so.