32 and 55

August 7 is a special day in my family. It represents a wedding anniversary for my parents ... and my grandparents. I don't usually get too involved in celebrating either of them, generally a phone call will suffice, occassionally I get a card in the mail on time. My parents and I are not particulalry sentimental folks, so most of the time my phone call includes thanking them for putting up with each other so I could have a stable homelife or something that completely understates the significance of what their constant and faithful love for one another has provided for me.
Today, as I turned the page on my calendar, I felt like taking a little more time to stop and reflect on 32 and 55. 32 years is how long my parents have been married. 55 years is how long my grandparents have been married. That's a lot of years.
My friends and I joke that my parents in particular, are freakishly in love. It's not that they're overly affectionate or awkward to be around. They're actually very pleasant people and a lot of fun to be around. The freakish part comes in when you realize that not only have they been married to each other for 32 years, but they've been working for the same company (often carpooling to work with each other) for at least 18 of those years! And, when they get involved in stuff at church, it's always as a couple. They travel together, too, by themselves, for fun! And, you're just gonna have to take my word for it as someone who's been on the inside -- they're not even putting on a show. They genuinely enjoy being together, are kind and respectful toward one another, and daily live out one of the best pictures of marriage I can think of outside of scripture. And, stranger than any of that is that it's not forced. It's just the way they do life.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I mean, how is it that this seems to come so naturally for my folks, but people all over the world have found it so difficult? What am I not seeing? The truth is, I'm sure there's plenty I'm not seeing, but I'll tell you what I do see. I've often credited my dad with teaching me to "do what you know to be right." I don't know that I've ever heard my mom say those words unless she was quoting my dad, but I've seen her live them almost daily. This is the conclusion I've come to. 32 years ago my parents made a committment before God, one another, and everyone who loved them that they were going to love one another well for the rest of their lives. And, to the very best of their ability and with a lot of looking to the Lord for guidance, I believe they've taken that commitment seriously. I'm sure they could tell us stories of times they've fought for that happiness, fought for peace with one another. I'm sure they could tell us of difficult lessons they've learned along the way and how they've wrestled with consciously choosing to consider each other above themselves. But, somehow, they decided it was worth it. At some point, whether it was on that day 32 years ago, or maybe some other point since then, they decided that the reward was far greater than the struggle.
I started to try and list for you some of the rewards of that choice, but I don't think I can. It's not my marriage. I can tell you what their marriage means to me, but that's such a small piece of the overall rewards. I can tell you that just a few years ago, I sat in a room full of young couples who'd been touched by their lives and listened to story after story after story of families that were edified and encouraged because of the wisdom and example of my parents. I've never been more proud than I was that night.
Mama and Daddy, on your 32nd wedding anniversary, without a lick of sarcasm or humorous understatement, I want to publicly say the biggest thank you I can muster. Thank you for choosing to love. Thank you for setting an unbelievable example. Thank you for being "freakishly in love." Thank you for always putting each other first and never letting me sit in the middle. ;-)