Wretched [Wo]man That I Am!

Twice in the last 24 hours someone has said to me, "Oh! You're so sweet!"

-- Those of you who really know me well are already laughing. Stop it and listen. I'm serious. :-P --

I wish I could accurately explain what goes on in my head when I hear those words. It's the strangest internal dialogue really. I know that I'm supposed to accept a compliment graciously and not try to argue with or deflect it, but there's this sarcastic little scoff that I hear first, and it takes everything in me not to say, "if only you knew!" Or sometimes I think about saying, "Really? Cause I thought you knew me better than that ..."

And, here's the deal. Most of the time when I hear something like that, whatever words or actions have earned me that praise are sincere. I mean, I don't tend to go around doing "sweet" or kind things with a hateful motive. I genuinely want to be helpful or encouraging to others. But the reality is that I know myself well, and I'm pretty wretched. I'm selfish. I'm sarcastic. Too often, I lack compassion. I've got an insidious pride issue. And the list could go on ...

I've read some great stuff recently on a right view of God, and one of the things I know about an increasing understanding of His holiness is that it leads to a better understanding of our own desperate need for a sinless Savior. I think the best response I could have to someone finding anything worthwhile in me is, "Praise the Lord!" for surely it is only by His grace that I am able to be a blessing in even the smallest ways.