Tales of a Fourth Grade Theologian

With much fear and trembling I approached the Fourth Grade Bible Lesson at Kid Power Camp on Monday evening. We were talking about The Good News using a Wordless Book made of colored construction paper, each page/color representing a part of the Greatest Story Ever Told. Night one was The Gold Page or Heaven, God's Home. Most of the children in my little huddle were from our church and knew the story quite well, so I spent most of the time letting them tell me the story. When I got to the part about things that wouldn't be in heaven, I was using a teaching aid with pictures on it to prompt them. They were calling out answers like "tears" or "death" or "sun and moon" when I heard it the first time. A little boy on my left said, "anathema." At least, that's what I thought I heard. I kept going, taking answers from the other children, and then I heard it again. "Anathema." I turned, acknowledged him and asked him if he could define that word for the rest of the class. He sat up straight, looked me in the eye as though he couldn't believe that would be necessary and said, "Someone condemned to hell. They obviously wouldn't be in heaven." Wow. You're right, kid. Good job. We move on. (I should note that the three older gentlemen assigned to "corral" my kids for the evening are standing around the circle with their mouths hanging open, dumbfounded.) It gets better. I move on with the children, and we begin discussing John 3:16, "For God so loved the world -- that means you and me! -- that He gave His only begotten Son -- to die on a cross for our sin, can anyone tell me what sin is?" Again, I field answers about kicking, stealing, disobeying, and from my left, I hear the same voice again, "treason." I turn, smile, and ask for a definition -- this time, out of complete curiousity as to what he might say, but without any doubt that he'll have one. That's when the history lesson began. Picture a fourth grader looking you directly in the eye and explaining, "Well, it's like during the War of Such and Such (I don't remember what he said), if someone were serving King Louis IV or V, I've forgotten now, but they befriended the King of Denmark and betrayed him. That's treason, so they CUT OFF HIS HEAD!" The last four words were stated emphatically and punctuated with a karate chop move. Okay, score two for the kid. We continue through John 3:16, "...that whosoever believes in Him -- who is whosoever, kids?" We talk about the fact that this verse tells us that anyone can come to God and go to heaven, that anyone who believes Jesus is Lord and Savior can be forgiven of their sin and does not have to go to hell. The hand on my left shoots up at this point. I can't help myself. I call on him. And this comes out of his 10 year old mouth, "Well, actually, John Calvin's theology of election and predestination states that God has predetermined who will be elected to salvation. And if there are some chosen for heaven, then obviously, some people have to go to hell." I smiled graciously, not sure if I'm more amazed by this child's ability to correctly use such words and sentences or the mouths of the adults nearby that are hanging open. I tell him that John Calvin was a very smart man who wrote many helpful things, but that tonight, we are more concerned with specifically what John 3:16 says. He interrupts me and says with an increduous tone, "John Calvin wrote MANY commentaries on the Bible, you know." "Yes, I know, I've even read some of what he's written, but tonight, we're still going to stick with Scripture only, okay?" He shrugs, but let's it drop. I finish the lesson without further comment. However, later, the children are at craft time, making their own wordless books, working on the Red Page, discussing blood. My Fourth Grade Theologian informs his fellow crafters this very helpful tidbit ... Did you know it's more fun to squash female mosquitoes than male mosquitoes because female mosquitoes have more blood and make a better splat!
I can hardly wait to go back tonight!