Earlier this year, I wrote a rather dark and twisty (shout out to all my fellow Grey's watchers) post called "owned" in which I talked about feeling owned by sin that was strangling the light and life out of my days. I talked about getting to the end of myself and meeting "the One who is able to keep you from stumbling" there.
Today, more than six months past that place, I can remember that dark night of my soul, but I can't feel it. I no longer feel choked by the darkness that held me then. Praise God on high!
However, today, two words came to mind over and over again. Wrecked and Ruined. The further I walk away from that dark place, the more blinding the light of God's love in my life grows. It wrecks every false notion I've ever held about who He is or how His love for me works, and it ruins every plan I've ever made for myself apart from Him.
Tonight, I'll be teaching from Romans 8:28-39. For I am absolutely convinced that absolutely nothing in this life or the life to come, neither my past nor my present nor my future, neither the best of this life or the very worst, neither angels nor demons shall ever be able to separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. (paraphrase)
As I look at those words and contemplate how to communicate the way they fall on me with a fresh awareness of the magnitude of my Father's love, I am once again wrecked and ruined. Tears of joy and sweet freedom fall from my eyes as this reality sinks in yet again. Nothing I've done. Nothing I've thought about doing. Nothing I've failed to do. God's love is more stubborn than I ever thought of being. Hallelujah!
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