Believe Me Now

Music is powerful.  Just a few familiar notes can instantly transport me to another time and place entirely.

This morning, I thought it would be fun to put my entire music collection on "shuffle all" and just see what happened.  I was so buried in my work that the music faded until it was just part of the background noise.  Most of the first few songs were recently familiar, my mind didn't have to think hard or travel far when hearing them.

But, then I had such a strange experience.  My body/emotions reacted to it so quickly my mind had to catch up.  As the very familiar lines of Steven Curtis Chapman's (I know! I know!) "Believe Me Now" played over my speakers, I was suddenly blinking back tears.  What in the world?!?

I was a brokenhearted girl in her mid-20's who had just climbed back into her own car after crying her way through an entire worship service.  I was broken in such a way that I no longer recognized myself, and all of the things I thought I'd known had become so foreign. And, I was being called to something that felt impossible.  I was surrendered, but I was terrified and terribly lonely.  I got in my car, cranked the engine, and the first lines of an unfamiliar song filled the empty space. The lyrics spoke so specifically to all that I was wrestling with that I honestly wondered if God Himself had invaded my radio and was singing directly to me.

I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand? 
and Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you


I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you believe Me now?
Believe Me here


I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now


That song didn't fix or change a single thing about my circumstances in that season, but it did serve as a beautiful reminder to me of God's character and that no matter what I thought or felt, I was not alone or broken beyond repair.  Today, with the familiar words and sounds, the conviction of that truth came rushing back.  The sweetness and intimacy of that dark moment sitting alone and feeling fully known and seen by my Creator.  And, the reminder that He is today exactly who He was on that day.

... I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.  - I Timothy 1:12