Psalm 42, My Style

I took this morning off. I didn't set my alarm. I woke up about 30 minutes after church started. I lay in bed, enjoying the quiet of the house and talking to the Lord about some of the things on my heart. I got up slowly, enjoyed reading and writing leisurely. It probably seems very unorthodox to skip church to spend time with the Lord, but deep in my spirit, as I prepared to sleep last night, I was aware that more than I need to be with my brothers and sisters this morning, more than I needed to see or be seen, I needed to hear from the Lord. He is so kind to come and meet with us when we call upon Him. In my reading, my attention was turned to Psalm 42 this morning. I have been meditating on it, and I plan to continue to keep it before me this week. This is the way it spoke to me this morning ...

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God.
Just like a deer gets really thirsty and can think of nothing but finding a cool, refreshing stream, so my soul thirsts for a refreshing sense of Your Presence, Lord.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?
The innermost part of me is crying out for God, for the true and living God who is able to move and work on my behalf. When can I come and know His presence again?
My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Grief and sadness have become a way of life for me while others stand around and mock me, asking me about God's whereabouts in the midst of my tears.
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God. With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.
I remember how things used to be and I pour it all out again. I remember how I used to go with a crowd around me into worship, leading others even, into the house of God. My voice was raised with others in joy and thanksgiving.
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. For the help of His presence.
Hey, Self, why are you so down? Why are you so restless and doubting? Put your confident expectation in God, for you will praise Him again. You will join and lead the flock in praise and thanksgiving again. You will praise Him for the way that His presence helped you from despair.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore, I remember You from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Father God, my heart hurts and my spirit is downcast; therefore, I remember you in the midst of my exile and captivity, in this place where you are not readily visible.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have rolled over me.
These things seem to drown me at times, but then you come, and your words, your peace, your truth rolls over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.
The Lord will command that I see and know his gracious goodness, his unfailing love during the day. His song will be the lullabye that lets me rest peacefully in the darkness, my confidence in these truths will be a prayer to Him, the God who holds my life.
I will say to God my rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Wy do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
I will say to God, my stronghold, my secure place of rest, "Why does it feel like you've forgotten me? Why must I endure this season of grieving because of an enemy that is so much less powerful than I knwo you are?" My adversaries look down on me and keep asking me where My God is.
Why are you in despair, O my Soul? Why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God for I shall yet praise Him, the Help of my countenance and my God.
Hey, Self, knowing all of these things, why are you holding onto that despair? Why do you let those weak enemies get to you? Put your confident expectation in God for you will praise Him again. He is the one who makes your face glow with peace and confidcence. He is your God!