There is a matter in my heart which has brought me to my knees ... more than once. Today, as I knelt again before the Lord, there were no words to offer Him. Surely, He knows even better than I do the very cry of my heart in this matter. Sincerely, it is for my good and His glory. This afternoon, sitting at my desk, trying to be diligent in my God-appointed labors, I had a funny thought.
I would rather be on my knees.
It seems to me that in this matter, I would rather sit before the Lord, literally. I would rather be sitting silently, conscious of His presence, waiting for Him to move me than to have to be up, working, carrying on, wondering when He will speak and what He will say.
It's frustrating, this life we live. It's so stinkin' daily afterall. There's no "pause" button. I love the "pause" button.
I remember reading a quote by Oswald Chambers once that talked about the difficulty of the Christian life being more in the "walking and not fainting" than in the soaring with the eagles. I'm prone to agree.
It's hard for me when there aren't words. My favorite movie quote of all time afterall comes from Anna and The King. "When a woman of many words says nothing, the silence can be deafening." I almost always have words!
In this matter, I'm out of words before the Lord. I just come, open-handed, empty-handed, saying nothing, offering up a very weary soul. I feel guilty about it sometimes, thinking maybe if I could just find the right words, then the Lord would move. Ha! How dim my understanding of His majesty! Then, today, I read this quote:
"I will offer Him my prayers, my sighs. I will pour out my heart to Him. Even in their distractedness, inconsistency and deficiency, I can be confident that my prayers rise to Him like incense." ~ Elisabeth Eliot
There's no pause button for this life, but there is a God who is not rushed, never hurried, and seriously unconcerned with my time table. He hears even the words I cannot speak.
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