Change?

I returned to DFW from 10 days in Peru on Sunday afternoon. Our plane landed about 11:30 a.m. By the time we dropped off film, ate lunch, picked up film, and got home it was 2:00 p.m. I enjoyed a leisurely soak in the tub, then got busy uploading pictures and journaling. Friends brought dinner over around 5:30, and we visited, looked at pics and souvenirs until 9:00. I went to bed at 9:45, woke just before 6:00 a.m. on Monday morning, and I was at my desk by 8:00. I worked, I ran errands, I had dinner with friends, I went to bed. I told everyone I was "fine" and I joked about how quickly I was diving back into life here. This morning, I woke much more slowly, and I took a long look at myself in the mirror as I prepared for work. I went through the motions of fixing my hair and putting on makeup (simple routines), but nothing felt the same. It seemed strange to put on make up, to spend time curling my hair, to search for earring to match my blouse. I thought to myself, "Did that trip really change me this much?" It nagged at me. Then, I headed into the kitchen and grabbed my usual Pop-Tart breakfast, and I thought, "Nah, it didn't change me that much," with a smirk. However, as I got in my car and drove to the office, I couldn't decide if I was more concerned that the trip had changed me or worried that maybe it hadn't. I know there are things about me that needed to be changed, and I want them to be different. I don't want to be the same as I was before I experienced a week in the jungle. I shouldn't be the same.

The two greatest things about my trip that I can identify so far are very simple things. 1) Not once during the entire time I was gone did I find myself doubting God's goodness, questioning His faithfulness, or wondering if His plan for my life really was a good one. I didn't worry about anything or question whether or not He really would show up in the places we visited each day. His presence was as real to me as the keys I'm typing on now, and as natural as the breaths that are sustaining me even now. 2) The gospel became simple again. As I translated a sermon one afternoon, and as I visited with a new believer on another occassion, I realized just how good the Good News is. 4 1/2 years of seminary education and a lifetime of Baptist politics had complicated things in my head. But, in the jungle, where people are literally dying for Hope, the simplicity of God's love story was stunning.

The IMB estimates that there are some 340,000 people in the Amazon River Basin who have yet to hear the gospel, who simply do not have access to the gospel because of their location. Yet, for some unknown reason, God has seen fit to make himself known in seven tiny Yagua villages along that mighty river's shores. And, the most confounding thing to me, He's seen fit to allow us to be a part of that glorious revelation.

The jungle was not easy to get to and my favorite place to stay. 10 hours in three different planes, another 10 hours in a motor boat, mosquitoes, biting flies, chiggars, spiders, unsanitary water, suffocating heat and humidity, cold showers (when showers were available at all), mud everywhere, and plenty of unidentifiable foods. Did I mention the hammocks? Or the roosters? The lack of electricity? Oh! let's not forget the monkeys! And yet, after all of that, something in me still thrills at the thought of it all. Something God-sized is happening in that jungle, and for five days, I got to be part of it.

Yes, I think it's fairly certain that it's changed me. I hope it's a permanent change.