To bring you tears.
I'm not an overly emotional person. I generally let reason rule. And, I like it that way. I am not frequently moved to tears. I'm just not.
Yesterday, I cried. I've been doing that a little more lately. There's a situation going on with someone very near and dear to me that makes that happen. I can't seem to help it. Trust me, I would if I could. But, I can't.
This morning, I was thinking about tears. What are they for? What's the point? What am I supposed to do with all the icky feelings and emotions that cause them? Wouldn't it be better for all involved if I didn't cry so much right now?
Lately, I've noticed that if I let someone in on my tears, let them hear or see me cry, they try to fix it. They tell me that it's all going to be okay. They remind me that God's in control, that He is good, and that He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And, everything inside me wants to just scream, "I KNOW! I. KNOW."
My tears are not evidence of doubt. They are not disbelief. That's why the frustrate me so often. If I know it's all going to be fine in the end, why must I cry about it today?
This morning, as I was contemplating all of these things a very simple verse came to mind. "Jesus wept." Everyone knows it's the shortest verse in the bible. It's in the midst of the story of Lazarus, the friend of Jesus who was ill and died. Jesus shows up four days "late" and Lazarus' sisters are distraught with grief and disappointment. And, Jesus wept.
Why did Jesus weep? Did he weep because He didn't know God was in control? Did He weep because He wasn't sure how it was all going to work out for their good? Did He weep because He was helpless to do anything about it? Of course not!
Maybe Jesus wept because someone very near and dear to him was suffering. Maybe he wept because he knew the suffering was completely necessary, God-ordained pain that would ultimately be for their good and the Father's glory, but it was still suffering. Maybe he wept because there was no better way to demonstrate his compassion for his beloved friends.
I can't say definitively why Jesus wept, but realizing that it wasn't because he doubted God or was weak in faith has helped me accept my own tears for now.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. ~ Hebrews 4:15
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