Okay, so I freely admit that I wrote Sunday night's post in an attempt to convince any of you who might have been worried that I really was "fine." Yes, the four-letter word, liar's kind of "fine." I felt a bit exposed after re-reading the darker post before that and seeing just how much of myself I'd really put out there. I'd always promised myself I'd try not to be uncomfortably transparent on a blog, but I guess I threw that one out the window last week.
But, something happened Sunday night as I was writing that silly post with all the sunshine. I read something this week where a man said, "depression only lets you see what it wants you to see." And, I realized that I'd been living much like that, only seeing the difficult things, never allowing the better things to penetrate my consciousness.
Now, it's Thursday. I've been a genuinely happy and joyful person -- someone most of you would actually recognize as me -- for several days now. This morning, as I talked this shift in my thinking over with the Lord, I thanked Him for it and asked Him to sustain me here. I confessed that no matter how long I might live, my days are short, and it's the genuine desire of my heart that each and every one of them be poured out for His Kingdom's purposes. I told Him how cautiously optimistic I feel about this week and how I'm counting on Him to empower me to continue to walk in the light of His grace. Then, I turned to my Bible reading for today, Isaiah 35.
I know you wouldn't believe it from listening to me the last few months, but I'm seriously not someone who cries often or easily, but when I began to read Isaiah 35, my heart began to beat faster, my breath caught in my throat, and then tears of joy trailed down my face. Oh, our sweet, sweet Savior.

The Ransomed Shall Return

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad;
the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus;
it shall blossom abundantly
and rejoice with joy and singing.
The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,
the majesty of Carmel and Sharon.
They shall see the glory of the Lord,
the majesty of our God.
Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart,
"Be strong; fear not!
Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
with the recompense of God.
He will come and save you."
Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
then shall the lame man leap like a deer,
and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.
For waters break forth in the wilderness,
and streams in the desert;
the burning sand shall become a pool,
and the thirsty ground springs of water;
in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down,
the grass shall become reeds and rushes.
And a highway shall be there,
and it shall be called the Way of Holiness;
the unclean shall not pass over it.
It shall belong to those who walk on the way;
even if they are fools, they shall not go astray.
No lion shall be there,
nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it;
they shall not be found there,
but the redeemed shall walk there.
And the ransomed of the Lord shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.