Amen or Oh Me?

¹ An oracle is within my heart
       concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
       There is no fear of God
       before his eyes.

² For in his own eyes he flatters himself
       too much to detect or hate his sin.

³ The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful;
       he has ceased to be wise and to do good.

⁴ Even on his bed he plots evil;
       he commits himself to a sinful course
       and does not reject what is wrong.

Psalm 36 pierced me this morning.  Just like I am prone to take passages intended for the church and internalize them for me individually, I’m also guilty of taking passages that highlight the sin in my life and ignore them because they’re addressed to the “wicked” and I prefer to be called “righteous.”  However, this morning, I could not ignore the way this passage highlighted some attitudes in my own dark heart.

I’ve often prayed to know the fear of the Lord and have stated on this blog before that I believe that fearing the Lord means have such a profound desire and commitment to please God that all other fears take second place.  I might fear rejection or ridicule or failure, but never more than I fear failing my Lord.  This passage says that for the wicked, “there is no fear of God before his eyes,” that other fears run their lives and win their affections.  This is true about me every time I choose sin over obedience.

“In his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.”  Ouch.  This passage cuts like a knife to the core of every sin issue I’ve ever struggled with.  I tolerate sin because I have not learned to hate it.  I tolerate it because I downplay it.  I tolerate it saying it can’t be that bad.  I flatter myself into thinking there couldn’t be a real sin problem.

“The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.”  This is the thing I dread most when I find myself living more out of the flesh than the Spirit.  Everything I say and do feels tainted by sin, and I never feel right about speaking into another person’s life because I fear I’ll be speaking in my own foolishness rather than the wisdom God promises to give abundantly to all who ask.

“He commits himself to a sinful course and does not reject what is wrong.”  Can I just say UGH!  I wish I could say that most of the sin in my life is not premeditated.  I wish I could say it’s inadvertent.  But, far too often, I’m well aware of my actions and just not concerned enough about it to reject wrong.  I’m too quick to justify evil and super slow to make war against it. 

And just about the time I’m ready to tear my garments in utter defeat, as I begin to recognize how awful the bad news really is, how hopeless I am apart from Christ, the psalmist continues …

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, 
       your faithfulness to the skies.

⁶ Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, 
       your justice like the great deep. 
       O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love! 
       Both high and low among men 
       find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house; 
       you give them drink from your river of delights.

⁹ For with you is the fountain of life; 
       in your light we see light.