This year, I have wrestled like never before with the idea of God's sovereignty. Whereas once I rested comfortably in the knowledge that "God is in the heavens; He does whatever pleases Him," this year I spent months feeling angry and fearful of that truth. I found myself asking questions I'd never asked before, such as, "Is God good?" Is it good that He is in the heavens, able to do whatever pleases Him? Is what pleases Him always good? For me, at the heart of it all was a simple question, "Could He be trusted?"
I am grateful to say that over the last couple of months, I've had some truly wonderful conversations with some wise and godly friends and counselors who have helped me wrestle well with those questions, and that my heart has once again found a resting place secure in the knowledge that, "He who did not spare His own Son, how will He not also graciously give to us all things?" (Romans 8:32)
He who did not spare His own Son. Every Christmas it seems that there is one thought or phrase from a verse or lyric from a song that etches itself on my heart and becomes the lens through which I view the holiday season. This year that refrain has been, "the baby born to die."
It occurs to me that we, in Christian circles, use that phrase rather comfortably as we talk about the Christ-child at this time of year. But, it is not a casual phrase to be batted around. A baby born to die?
A mother bravely carries a child to term, knowing her life will be but a breath, yet many come to know the grace and peace of our Savior through their story. The life of a teenager comes to a senseless end at the hands of a drunk, yet the story of hope and peace is proclaimed boldly in an auditorium full of grieving students. A young mother receives a terminal diagnosis and determines to live out every last day with gratitude to the Life-giver, and her legacy is a celebration of life without end. A beloved pastor, still young, dies suddenly in his sleep, and his congregation rallies around his life-long passion for the message of Christ and in his death, a new fervor for the spread of the gospel is born.
None of us would dare to label any of these, "a baby born to die." But, weren't they? Didn't Sovereign God is his all-knowing goodness ordain every one of their moments on this earth and determine to use everything surrendered to Him for their good and His glory? If we can be so comfortable with the idea that He would send His only begotten Son to live and to die as the ultimate gift for us, for our good, then why is it so difficult for us to trust that everything else He does or allows will also work out only for our good?
As I reflect on this last year, as I look back on my deepest struggle to rest at peace with God and His mysterious ways, the manger and the incarnation have provided such precious and powerful reminders that His ways are so very different from and far superior to my own. The baby born to die is also the very good King who came to rule.
But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. - Galatians 4:4-7
Listening to: Born to Die by Shane and Shane
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