God's Better Ways

Hast thou not see how all thy longings have been granted in what He ordaineth? 

- Praise to the Lord, The Almighty

Sometimes God meets my needs in unexpected ways, and I am delighted.

I recognize a need, have no clue how to meet it, and imploringly take it to Him, asking Him to show up.  It's always thrilling to see just how creatively He engineers a solution I'd have never come up with on my own.

Other times, He meets my needs in unexpected ways and I respond with a temper tantrum.

I recognize a need , come up with the perfect solution, then take them both to God as more of a demand than a petition.

When that happens, I look for God in only one direction.  I wait and watch and expect Him to move in a very specific way, and when He doesn't, I accuse Him of not meeting the need at all.  I get angry and defensive and bitter, and find it very difficult to rejoice in any blessing at all because it wasn't THE blessing I expected.  It's an ugly temper tantrum of the heart.

Eventually, I accept that the need was met, but I tend to treat the gift as more of a consolation prize, begrudgingly acknowledging it with a mumbled platitude of thanks rather than heartfelt joy.  I've done this my whole life.  Over and over again, patting myself on the back for practicing the discipline of gratitude even when accepting something "less than" what I'd expected.  Go, me.

This week, I have come face to face with this very ugly pattern of my heart.  It wasn't a fun or pleasant experience, but the outcome has been monumentally life changing.  I have found myself overwhelmed with delight over graces I'd only marginally acknowledged previously.

I came to God and told Him my need and how I thought it should be met.  He set aside my solution and came up with one infinitely more fulfilling.  Ever since I saw this, ever since I saw that His solution wasn't a consolation prize but truly a full expression of His grace over my life, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, to stop smiling about it, to stop talking about it, to stop looking for how many other indescribably good gifts I've missed seeing.

God never gives less than His best, even when it's exactly what I think I want.

So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. - James 1:16-18