#SparkLA2010 Day One

I didn't plan to go on this Spark trip.  Even though I had an amazing time in Longview on last year's trip, October is a really bad time for me to be out of town, and I determinedly ignored the repeated email invitations I received to join this year's trip to Hope Gardens Family Center in Los Angeles.  Then, one morning in mid-September, I received a voicemail from Spark's founder, Molly Breitenfeld, telling me she'd been thinking of and praying for me and asking if I'd consider going to L.A. to lead a bilingual small group during the retreat weekend.  This piqued my interest.  A month later, I found myself boarding a plane with nearly 50 other women (there would be 53 total on our team) bound for Los Angeles.

We arrived mid-morning, ate a quick lunch at the hotel, dropped our stuff, and headed to Hope Gardens for "Sparky's Rockin' Rodeo" -- a night of outrageous fun designed for the mom's and their children.  Spark Ministry functions in teams.  We have prayer team, kitchen team, decorations team, gifts team, etc.  The Rodeo Team outdid themselves -- clowns, balloon animals, bounce houses, cotton candy (which I had up to my sleeves before I learned how to use the machine like a pro!), popcorn, snowcones, hot dogs, photo booths, stick ponies, line dancing, etc.  One of the case managers from Hope Gardens referred to us throughout the weekend as "Fun in a Box" and it was never more true than that first night.  We ended the evening with an important Spark tradition, "Spark in the Dark" where we turn out all the lights in a large room, pass out all kinds of glow in the dark toys, and turn up the dance music.  So. Much. Fun.

As we were putting stuff away that night and preparing for the next day, I hopped on the back of a golf cart and rode to the top of a bumpy hill.  I was fine when I got on the cart, but couldn't even stand up straight when I got off of it due to intense pain in my lower back.  It was frightening.  On the bus, my roommate for the weekend, who also happens to be a nurse, handed me some ibuprofen with water, and told me to sit still.  She carried my bag inside for me, and began the process of getting us checked into the hotel.

We had been assigned to a room with two other women, four of us total, sharing two double beds.  I was so tired and in so much pain and all I could think was, "we'll never get any sleep that way."  When we went back up to the front desk to inquire about the possibility of getting a room to ourselves, the lady initially told us the rate would be significantly higher since we would be out from under the Spark group rate, but she would check anyway.  When I gave her my name, she said, "Well, we already have a room reserved for you that nobody has checked into yet."  She rattled off a list of names that were supposed to be our roommates, and we said, "No, that's our small group."  She looked back and said, "Miss Horton, this room is here, under your name, with your group rate, and nobody else is claiming it."  I didn't argue any longer.  We took the keys and headed up the stairs - grateful beyond belief.  My sweet roommate spent some time massaging my aching back with muscle rub before we went to sleep, and I prayed fervently that I'd feel better in the morning ...

Jesus Saves

While God is infinitely creative expressions of grace, Satan is pitifully unimaginative in his ongoing attempts to mitigate the power of the Gospel in my life.  It struck me as sadly comical tonight as I was preparing for my latest adventure with Spark Ministry.  As I folded clothes and gathered toiletries and laid out travel documents, my thoughts were full of the same old doubts and inadequacies and self- ... well, just self.  Bluch!  It's such a frequent thought loop, you'd think I'd be onto his game by now, but unfortunately, I am a slow learner at times.

About the time I was ready to despair, a familiar song came to mind.  The words and melody swirling their way over all my foolish thinking.  Shane & Shane's "Embracing Accusation" ... Could the father of lies be telling the truth to me tonight?  ... Oh, the Devil's singing over me an age old song, That I am cursed and gone astray ... Singing the first verse so conveniently over me ... He's forgotten the refrain ... JESUS SAVES!


It's so true.  Those negative thoughts in my head are powerful because on some level they are all true.  I'm a mess.  I'm totally inadequate and ill-prepared and likely to fail epically on my own.  The problem is, those are only half-truths.  The bigger Truth is what really matters.  I am not on my own.  He who called me is faithful.  It is God who works in me both to will and to act according to His good pleasure.  He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.  Jesus saves!  That's the power of the Gospel.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 

Hebrews 13:20-21

Temper Tantrums

Have you ever seen a two year old get startled in the middle of a full on belligerent temper tantrum?  Picture her: face down, kicking and screaming at the feet of a loving and patient parent determined to wait her out when suddenly something frightens her.  Perhaps it's a big dog or a scary clown or a loud noise.  Whatever it is, she goes from all out fit of defiance to whimpering in that parent's arms in 2 seconds flat.

I sat through a four-hour long meeting today with 8 of my favorite CWJC/CMJC colleagues.  We laughed and teased and worked and hashed out details for upcoming events and made decisions about endowment scholarships.  And, then, as we prepared to close our time together in prayer, one of our colleagues choked out the news that the phone call she'd taken just before our lunch break was her doctor and the word was "malignant."  Suddenly, nothing we had done together all day long seemed to mean anything as we absorbed the impact of our friend's news.

As we encircled her, laying hands on her, crying with her, and praying with all our might for God to comfort, sustain, and HEAL, the lump in my own throat was huge.  I was hurting for my friend.  I was imagining what her 18 year old only child was feeling.

This afternoon, I'm thinking about perspective.  I'm thinking about how many things suddenly meant absolutely nothing in light of the battle my dear friend faces.  I'm thinking how quickly life changes.

I'm also thinking about how foolishly I've been living lately, trudging through my days in prayerlessness, doing my best to teach God a lesson in my silence, my spiritual temper tantrum.  It's so stupid that I can hardly find words to tell you about it.  But, what's ironic to me is that today, when the news was serious and it was bad and it was not what I wanted to hear and definitely not what I would choose, I didn't hesitate to jump into His arms and hold on for dear life.

I'm reminded of John 6, when following Jesus started to get a little tougher for the masses, and many of His disciples began to desert Him, Jesus looked at the 12 and said, "Do you want to leave me, too?" but Peter answers, "Where else would we go?  You have the words of eternal life."

As I absorbed news of my friend's cancer today, my instinct was not to run further from the Lord or to fight harder against Him or look for a new Source, but to run full force into the strong tower of His sovereign goodness.  Today, I don't care about the things I don't understand as much as I long to rest in the one sure thing I know.

  At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Titus 3:3-7

The Wisdom of Seasons

My Aunt Debbie shared this verse with our family today, and I thought it was a sweet reminder from the Lord.
Psalm 18:28 says, "You, Oh Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light."
I was thinking on this very gray morning as I drove to work about how much I loved the rain when it first began to fall, but now, after several days of rain and thunderstorms (and flat hair and bad traffic), I'm so very ready for some sunshine.  I had to laugh at myself.  I can be so fickle.  Seasons are just another display of God's infinite wisdom, are they not?  Sunshine is so much sweeter when it follows rain.

Where to Find Me - Watermark

Sometimes a song says it best ... 


When the lie is deeper than I know 
You capture me and You carry me home 
You see these wounds and rescue me 
You always heal things beautifully 

And I close my eyes 
And You can still my heart 
And I call out Your name... 
'Cause You always know 
You always know where to find me... 
You always know 
You always know where to find me... 

And where could I wander that You wouldn't be? 
Whom have I but You who really knows me? 
Proven to be the God that sees 
From strength to strength You've lifted me... 

And I could cry from the depths of the earth 
I could stand on a mountaintop 
And I can speak Your name out to the wind 
And You go before me... 
And You fall around me... 

'Cause You always know 
You always know where to find me... 
You always know You always know where to find me...

Amen or Oh Me?

¹ An oracle is within my heart
       concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
       There is no fear of God
       before his eyes.

² For in his own eyes he flatters himself
       too much to detect or hate his sin.

³ The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful;
       he has ceased to be wise and to do good.

⁴ Even on his bed he plots evil;
       he commits himself to a sinful course
       and does not reject what is wrong.

Psalm 36 pierced me this morning.  Just like I am prone to take passages intended for the church and internalize them for me individually, I’m also guilty of taking passages that highlight the sin in my life and ignore them because they’re addressed to the “wicked” and I prefer to be called “righteous.”  However, this morning, I could not ignore the way this passage highlighted some attitudes in my own dark heart.

I’ve often prayed to know the fear of the Lord and have stated on this blog before that I believe that fearing the Lord means have such a profound desire and commitment to please God that all other fears take second place.  I might fear rejection or ridicule or failure, but never more than I fear failing my Lord.  This passage says that for the wicked, “there is no fear of God before his eyes,” that other fears run their lives and win their affections.  This is true about me every time I choose sin over obedience.

“In his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.”  Ouch.  This passage cuts like a knife to the core of every sin issue I’ve ever struggled with.  I tolerate sin because I have not learned to hate it.  I tolerate it because I downplay it.  I tolerate it saying it can’t be that bad.  I flatter myself into thinking there couldn’t be a real sin problem.

“The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.”  This is the thing I dread most when I find myself living more out of the flesh than the Spirit.  Everything I say and do feels tainted by sin, and I never feel right about speaking into another person’s life because I fear I’ll be speaking in my own foolishness rather than the wisdom God promises to give abundantly to all who ask.

“He commits himself to a sinful course and does not reject what is wrong.”  Can I just say UGH!  I wish I could say that most of the sin in my life is not premeditated.  I wish I could say it’s inadvertent.  But, far too often, I’m well aware of my actions and just not concerned enough about it to reject wrong.  I’m too quick to justify evil and super slow to make war against it. 

And just about the time I’m ready to tear my garments in utter defeat, as I begin to recognize how awful the bad news really is, how hopeless I am apart from Christ, the psalmist continues …

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, 
       your faithfulness to the skies.

⁶ Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, 
       your justice like the great deep. 
       O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love! 
       Both high and low among men 
       find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house; 
       you give them drink from your river of delights.

⁹ For with you is the fountain of life; 
       in your light we see light.

The Manifold Wisdom of God

Last week, when I arrived at community group, Steve had left instructions for us to discuss the importance of unity in the church according to Ephesians 3.

In Ephesians 3, Paul describes his calling to make known the mystery of God.  This mystery that has been hidden for ages is that the Gentiles (non-Jews) are fellow heirs with the Jews, God’s chosen people, of the promises and grace of God.  And, the plan for revealing this mystery to the world?  The church.  Ephesians 3:10 says, “…through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known.”

In our differences.  In our variety.  In our willingness to worship together, unified as joint-heirs of God’s grace, we, the church, demonstrate the manifold wisdom of God.
Paul goes on to say that it is “for this reason …” he bows and prays that they would be strengthened with power, that Christ would dwell richly in their hearts, and that they’d have the ability to grasp the heights and depths of God’s love, filled with the fullness of God.

I’ve ALWAYS loved that part of the chapter, often prayed that for others.  But, only recently did I begin to understand Paul’s heart in that prayer.  His heart is to pray all of those wonderful things for them (for us!) so that they’ll be able to rightly display the manifold wisdom of God.  When we grasp the fullness of Christ at work in us, his willingness and ability to unite us, we more gloriously display Him to the world!

And, the chapter closes with my absolute favorite doxology, “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

I’ve come to realize lately how often I read and internalize passages for myself personally that were never meant for me as an individual.  They were written for the church, for me as a part of the church.  They are best seen and understood through the church.  The beautiful, glorious Bride of Christ.

Are you waiting?

It requires much more courage to stand and wait and still not lose heart or lose hope, to submit to the will of God, to give up opportunities for work and leave honors to others, and to be quiet, confident, and rejoicing while the busy multitude goes happily along their way. - L.B. Cowman

No Shifting Shadows

I was joking with a friend a few weeks ago that I think I have a crush on my neighborhood Walgreens.  It’s just so good to me, makes my life so much easier, and always has a surprise for me when we meet.  This week, however, I think I may have found a serious contender for my affections in Half-Price Books.  I get giddy just approaching the door!  I could spend hours exploring all manner of subjects and never run out of things to discuss.  And, talk about surprises!  I never ever leave there disappointed.  This week, Half-Price was especially good to me.  There was a wonderful new journal covered in brightly colored butterflies (mariposas) that might as well have had my name on it, like it knew the time had come for me to start a fresh book of blank pages.  Next, I went right to the novel I was hoping to find, and as a bonus, found the sequel tucked away on the clearance shelf for just a dollar!  And, for those nights when I just don’t feel like writing or reading, there was Season 1 of ER just waiting to entertain me.  It doesn’t hurt Half-Price’s chances in the competition for my affections that Bueno is close by, either. 

Of course it’s silly to have a crush on or feel romanced by a pharmacy or a bookstore.  I know this.  But, it is great fun to find such delight in such simple pleasures.  And, ultimately, I am reminded that “every good and perfect gift comes down from above, from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17) 

This week, I’ve had a lot of conversations with God that have started out with, “But what about …?”  Questions I just don’t have answers to right now.  Tonight, as I came home with all my simple pleasures and drew a bubble bath, I was reminded of this post from earlier this year.  And, it was as if the Lord said to me, “Kristen, it’s still Me, the One who took great joy in delighting you on that day, in working all the little things together for your good.  I am He.  I am the One providing for this day, too.  I have not changed.  I am every bit as committed to your good.”  I’m pretty sure a deep sigh escaped me as I let that truth roll over my mind and quiet all my questions.  

The Endless Supply

This morning, like most days, I have song lyrics stuck in my head.  What gets stuck in my thought loop varies widely from day to day, but some times, it does me well to pay attention to what's there.  This morning, I find myself humming "I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life" from the song Hungry.  -- Well, actually, prior to googling the correct lyrics, what I was singing was, "I am weary, but I know Your love does not run dry."  I'm cool and mix verses like that sometimes. --  I have a point, and I'm getting to it, promise.

Just before I got out of my car this morning, I heard Chris Tomlin's Everlasting God on the radio and couldn't help but focus again on the line that says "You won't grow weary."  And, for a month now at least, I've been listening to Matt Redman's You Alone Can Rescue which has two different lines I really love.  The first says, "Our shame was deeper than the sea, Your grace is deeper still," and the second says, " When our hearts were far away, your love goes further still."

So, putting all of these ideas together, here's my point. God's got an endless supply of all that we need.  When I'm weary, His is the touch that empowers me to keep going, gives me life.  When I'm empty, His is a love source that does not run dry.  When I'm at the end of me, He does not get weary.  (That one still baffles me!)  His grace far exceeds my shame.  His love will always outrun my rebellious heart.

Psalm 139:5, "You hem me in before and behind - You have laid your hand upon me." 

Lessons from the Altar

^{Genesis 22:9} When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. ¹⁰ Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. ¹¹ But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied. ¹² "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Hebrews 11: ¹⁷By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, ¹⁸even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." ¹⁹Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

It is not often that I get to experience the agony of laying something I prize on a sacrificial altar. I’ve come to realize there simply are not that many things in my life I cling to with such a fervor that releasing them would equal sacrifice.  Recently, however, I’ve had that opportunity.  After wrestling for far too long with something very valuable to me, I laid it down.  And, I’ve learned just a few things already in the process of surrender.

First, while I could have told you all day long that Jesus is enough, it’s entirely different to make that claim when your hands are still full.  There’s nothing like the moment you let go of all your other prizes and realize He is still enough. Jonah 2:8 says it like this, "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." 

Second, there is great comfort in the character of God.  Sacrifice hurts.   But, there is great comfort in knowing that He is good.  And, He is trustworthy.  He does not call me to painful choices without grand purposes.  I am resting in His good character.  As David Platt says, “God’s sovereignty is our safety.”

Finally, the fear of the Lord means that all other fears must bow to my desire to please Him.  All the wrestling with and clinging to the things I must ultimately lay down comes from a fear of things other than the Lord.  Scripture is replete with promises for those who fear the Lord, and I want to be someone who can claim those promises. When Abraham laid Isaac on that altar, God said, “Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from Me your son, your only son.”

I hope I will not sound heretical if I hypothesize for a moment.  Based solely on my own experience, I do wonder if Abraham’s experience at the altar was not so that God would know for sure where Abraham’s allegiance lay, as much as it was for Abraham to know.  I suspect the Omniscient knew Abraham’s heart, just as I am confident He knows mine.  It is unlikely to me that God learned anything new at that altar.  But, Abraham?  Abraham was probably still unpacking the lessons from that altar on his dying day. 

Romans 4: ²⁰Yet [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, ²¹being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. ²²This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." ²³The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone,²⁴but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

How Are You Living?

We’re living like [God]’s sovereign over all things and loves us deeply as His children. - Matt Chandler

I heard this today, and I was immediately fascinated by the thought, “What does it look like to live like that?”  Am I living like God is sovereign over all things and He loves me deeply as His daughter? 

The combination of realities is so poignant.  God’s sovereignty all by itself can be terrifying, often leaving me feeling helpless and confused.  But God’s sovereignty combined with his prodigious love toward me?  That takes my breath away.  That soothes every ache and calms every fear.  That is the very best kind of news.   It changes everything. 

Leadership Summit 2010: TD Jakes

How do we get that passion that exists in us to infiltrate those we lead?

Church leadership is unique.  People don’t come to follow you.  They come to follow Jesus.  They came to follow Him, but they get stuck with you.

#1 You have to make sure your leadership comes from a divine place.

We cannot be clones when it comes to passion.  It’s not about mimicking other people.  People will get tired of following a cheap copy of a great original.

Success is not maintaining.  People follow people who move, people who take action, people who take risks. I need a sense that I’m on a mission that’s bigger than me.  Make sure the passion doesn’t get diluted or polluted as it flows down. 

When God gives you people to work with you, they are assets right out of His treasure chest.  When God gives you people, He’s given you something He really cares about. 

#2 Make sure that the team around you delivers on the promise that you projected.

Passion is not emotionalism.  Passion is the fuel that makes the engine go.  Passion is the force behind it, the intensity.  I’m not asking you to be emotional.  There’s nothing wrong with being emotional.  There’s something wrong with being led by your emotions, but there’s nothing wrong with being emotional.  Passion is what makes people leap out of bed in the morning.

If you only surround yourself with people who do what you do, they compete with you, but they don’t complete you. 

Teammates are not confidantes. 

Confidantes are people that are for you.  When you’re up.  When you’re down.  When you’re popular.  When you’re not popular.  If you have two or three in a lifetime you are a blessed person.

Constituents.  Constituents are not for you, they are for what you are for.  They work with you and serve and volunteer because they believe in the mission. Don’t try to hold people too tightly who are meant to come and go.

Comrades.  Comrades are against what you’re against.  They’re an asset if you know how to use them.  If you don’t know how to use them, they’ll end up fighting you.   You don’t want to kill the fight, you want to direct them to the target. 

Test: If someone can read a look from across the room, they share your spirit.  You work best with people you read well.  You cannot be lead by people you cannot read because then the job becomes trying to read.

If you’re going to lead like Jesus, you have to be willing to show them your wounds and let them see who you are.  Jesus showed up after the resurrection and did not go to the crowds, he went to the disciples and showed them His wounds.  

The Leadership Summit: Daniel Pink

Daniel Pink – “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”

Hypothesis: We all have three drives. 

Biological Drive

Reward/Punishment Drive (If…then rewards)

3^rd Drive: to connect, to be part of something larger than yourself, etc.

If you begin with the wrong assumptions, no matter how hard you work, the endeavor won’t go well.

False assumption #1: Human beings are machines.  If you press the right levers in the right way, people will pretty much do what you want them to do.

False assumption #2: Human beings are blobs – passive and inert.  Truth: We are engaged and active.

Three key elements of motivation:

• Autonomy
• Management
• Management is a technology designed to get compliance.
• Management fundamentally does not lead to engagement.
• Autonomy produces engagement:
• Time - when?
• Team – with whom?
• Task - what?
• Technique – how?
• Mastery
• Purpose

Performance reviews are not authentic conversations.  They are more like North American kabuki theater. :-) 

What pronouns are you using?  Are you a “we” organization or a “they” organization?

Anything good in life begins with a conversation: great romance, great business ventures, great revolutions …

Leadership Summit 2010: Jeff Manion

Okay, so if you've been skipping or skimming my Summit summaries, you should read this one.  I'm just saying ...

Jeff Manion's talk entitled "The Land Between" was quite possibly one of the most moving Summit speeches I've heard to date, and after 3 years of incredible presentations, that's saying something!

The land between, is the part of the journey between here (Egypt) and there (Canaan).  It's the place where our language is liberally sprinkled with "for now."

The land between is fertile soil for complaint. (Numbers 11:1-6)
The problem with the Israelites complaints is that they weren't complaining against circumstances, they were complaining against God.  Their ultimate complaint was that He was not enough.

The land between is also fertile soil for a leadership meltdown. (Numbers 11:11-14)
Throw yourself into spiritual leadership, and you will have moments when you come to the end of yourself.  Often times, we are prepared for disappointment, but we're not always prepared for YEARS of disappointment.

The land between is fertile soil for God's provision. (Numbers 11:16-17)
God's provision for Moses, a broken leader, "Bring me 70 elders ... they will help you ... you will not have to carry the burden alone."  What if God is good?  What if He is gracious?  What if He says, "As you open your hands to release the burden, leave them open to receive the blessing."?
Numbers 11:23, "Is the Lord's arm too short?"  Are you questioning God's character or His competence?

The land between is fertile soil for God's discipline.  (Numbers 11:18-20, 31-34)
Loving parents bring effective and timely discipline on beloved children.  Discipline is inflicting pain for redemptive purposes.  We are naive to think that we are immune from God's corrective hand.  Discipline is pain for the purpose of rescue.

The land between is fertile soil for transformational growth.  (Numbers 11:24-25)
The land between is where God whispers, "I need you to trust Me."  When you travel through the land between, your heart is in danger.  There are choices to be made that will determine who you are in the future.  Moses poured out his heart before God in the land between while the Israelites complained about God there.  The place that you hate is the soil where God can do some of His richest and deepest work.  The space in your life that you most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the crop we so desperately desire.  Trust evicts complaint.  They are incompatible roommates.

I Know the Peace Maker

³⁵That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." ³⁶Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"  ³⁹He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. ⁴⁰He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" ⁴¹They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

Last week, during our community group discussion at Commons Church, we talked about the fact that authority is the key to peace.  Then I heard a speaker at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit (Have I mentioned I was there last week?) say that “Trust evicts complaint. They are incompatible roommates.” So, my conclusion is this:  When I trust whoever has the authority in a situation, I will know peace without complaint. 

Authority [uh-thor-i-tee] (n.) – the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command, or determine

This morning, I read the passage quoted above from Mark 4, and I was blessed to the core with the reminder that I know the Peace Maker.  Jesus is the Authority.  He can be trusted.  At a time in my life when I often feel like I’ve got more questions than answers, I am thankful for this reminder.  


Speak to storm inside of me and Your voice will calm the sea.
All of my fears completely cease as the storm gives way to peace. 
- Lyrics to Speak to the Storm by Gina Greek Funderburg

Leadership Summit 2010: Andy Stanley

I.  All organizations have tensions that are never resolved and problems that are never solved.  Great leaders leverage those issues in a way that creates progress for the organization.

• Examples: Home/Work, Management/Leadership, Marketing/Sales, Systems/Flexibility, Leading/Shepherding
• If you resolve these tensions, you only create new ones.
• Resolving these tensions creates barriers to progress
• Progress depends on the successful management of these tensions

II.  How to distinguish between problems to solve and tensions to manage:

• Does this problem or tension keep resurfacing?
• Are there mature advocates for both sides?
• Are the two sides really interdependent?

III.  The role of leadership is to leverage the tension to the benefit of the organization:

• Identify the tensions to be managed (not resolved)
• Inform your core about what those tensions are
• Continually give value to both sides
• Don't weigh in too heavily based on your personal biases
• Understand the upside of the opposite side
• Understand the downside of your side
• Don't allow strong personalities to always win the day.  We need people who will passionately champion a side, and mature people who will understand a tension that's never going to be resolved.
• Don't think in terms of balance, think in terms of rhythm.  There is a time to lean in heavily and a time to lean away.

Leadership Summit 2010: Adam Hamilton

Adam Hamilton's talk was titled "When Leaders Fall."  It was definitely not the feel good session of the conference, but it was well delivered and certainly valuable information for any organization.

Hamilton opened with a sad statistic.  I almost wrote "startling" statistic, but I'm afraid I wasn't all that surprised.  In 2006, 30% of 1,050 pastoral leaders surveyed admitted to sexual impropriety.

Hamilton says the church has four options when it comes to addressing fallen leaders:

1. Say Nothing -- let the rumor mill run its course
2. Be Evasive -- let the rumor mill run its course
3. Denounce sin and Distance Yourself -- the "scarlet letter" approach
4. Transparency, Honesty, Compassion, and Grace

He went on to share five strategies for resisting temptation.

1. Remember who you are.
2. Recognize the consequences of your actions:  Will I feel better or worse?  Will I want others to know?  Who will this hurt?
3. Rededicate your life to God.  When you recognize temptation, Stop. Drop. Pray.
4. Reveal your struggle to a trusted friend.  The power of temptation is in secrecy.
5. Remove yourself from the situation.  Sometimes avoiding sin requires radical action.

The best line of Hamilton's talk came toward the end as he discussed the church's responsibilty to respond to a broken or hurting or fallen family member.  The final word of the church must always be grace.

Leadership Summit 2010: Tony Dungy

I really like and respect Tony Dungy.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading his first book, and I suspect his second and third are equally worthwhile.  However, I did not take many notes during his session as Craig Groeschel interviewed him, so this post will be brief.  Four key quotes/ideas.  Ready.  Go!

• Stubbornness is a virtue ... if you're right. 
• The Lord sometimes has to short circuit even our best plans for our own benefit.
• Do not mistake hours for productivity.
• Why would you let anyone stop you from doing what you love?

Leadership Summit 2010: Christine Caine

Session 2, Part 2: Christine Caine

Maybe it's because she's a woman.  Maybe it's because she's got a cool accent.  Maybe it's because she quotes scripture as easily as she breathes.  Maybe it's because she's passionate about an issue and doing something to change it.  I can't say why for sure, but Christine Caine's is the talk that continues to echo in my mind two days later.

Christine Caine is the founder of A21, an effort to abolish human trafficking in the 21st century.  Christine boldy asks the question, "How is it possible in the 21st century, on our watch as the church of Jesus Christ, that human beings are being packed into shipping containers and sold into slavery?" 

I think what I appreciated so much about her audacity is that her Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) is rooted in her hope in the power of Jesus Christ.  She says mildly, "I'm just old school enough to believe that Jesus Christ is the hope of the world."  I want to be that old school, too!  She challenges Christian leaders saying, "We have a responsibility to lead people out of a place of hope.  If we don't believe we can make a difference, why get out of bed?"  

Another of her thoughts that keeps ringing in my ears is this, "The truth of the Word of God is more powerful than the facts."  In other words, we ought not be deterred by circumstantial evidence.  God's Word is alive and active and powerful. His truth is bigger than whatever it is we think might stop us.  

Her call to Christian leaders is to take risks fueled by Hope rooted in Christ.  She tells a charming story about purchasing a flashlight for her young daughter.  As she handed the child the flashlight, her daughter says, "Mommy, let's go find some darkness!"  Christine likens this to the call for believers.  We have the Light of Christ, and our purpose is to go find the darkness and light it up!

Leadership Summit 2010: Jim Collins

Session 2:  Jim Collins - "Never, Ever Give Up"

So, just as the full import of Bill Hybels' words about leadership and the challenge to listen and heed God's whisper were hitting my heart and mind, Jim Collins took the stage.  It was only session two, and I was beginning to take notes on auto pilot.

Jim Collins is best known for his book, "Good to Great" and his leadership theme is all about studying what sets apart great leaders from good leaders.  Highlights from his talk:

• Good is the enemy of great. I think I could stop and write a whole blog about this thought alone.  The temptation to settle for good is enormous at times, but great is what I'm after.
• Great is not a matter of circumstances.  It is a matter of conscious choice and discipline.  Greatness never happens on accident.  
• Any leader can fall, many do, but some don't.  There are 5 stages of decline for any organization. Often, it is possible to look healthy on the outside, but be very sick on the inside.
• Stage 1: Hubris born of success.  It is not success to that leads to failure, it's hubris - outrageous arrogance.  Humility is the signature that sets apart great leaders.
• Stage 2: Undisciplined Pursuit of More.  Always regulate growth by asking whether or not all of the key seats on the team are filled with FANTASTIC people.  If they're not, resist the urge to grow until they are.  
• Stage 3: Denial of Risk and Peril.  Never confuse faith with facts.  Never confuse the need for absolute faith that you can and will prevail ultimately with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of today.
• Stage 4: Grasping for Salvation.  Greatness is never a single event, it's a cumulative process. Greatness is disciplined people engaged in disciplined thought taking disciplined action.
• Stage 5: Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death.  If you measure your success by money, you will always lose.  Winners have an answer to the question, "What will be lost if we leave?" and it gives them a reason to endure the struggles.  The signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency.

To Do List:

1. Do your diagnostics.  (www.jimcollins.com) 
2. Count your blessings.  When we begin to account for all the good things that we did not cause, it's humbling.
3. Fill the seats on your bus with FANTASTIC people.
4. With your team, create an inventory of the brutal facts, ie: Why we can't stay "here". 
5. Create a "stop doing" list to go beside your "to do" list.
6. Define results, recognize milestones.
7. Double your reach to young people by changing your practices without changing core values.
8. Set a BHAG (Big. Hairy. Audacious. Goal.)

Leadership Summit 2010

Session 1: Bill Hybels "Whispers of God"
Bill Hybels is the one constant at the Summit from year to year, and he does not disappoint.  Ever.

• Leaders move people from "here" (Egypt) to "there" (Promised Land), and they don't begin by telling people how great and wonderful "there" is.  They begin by explaining to people how awful "here" is and why we simply cannot stay any longer.
• Great leaders know that it takes FANTASTIC people to get from "here" to "there".  Great leaders build their teams based on 4 C's: Character, Competence, Chemistry, and Culture.  Truly fantastic team members are those it would make you sick to lose.
• Leaders recognize that people are most vulnerable in the midst of the journey from "here" to "there," so they celebrate milestones all along the way.  Great leaders recognize that vision leaks, so they regularly refill people's vision buckets.
• Great leaders know that nothing significant happens without direction from God. (John 10:27)  Great leaders believe that God still speaks and position themselves to hear His voice.  

Haunting Take-away Questions:  When God whispers, will you do everything in your power to heed His voice?  Is God's whisper enough to change the course of your life?

Because I'm Thankful

So, I usually save my thanksgiving posts for well Thanksgiving, but it just so happens that I'm feeling uber thankful right here at the beginning of August.  Shoot me.

• I am thankful that there are some ridiculously godly women in my life who are stinking fun to know.
• I am grateful that the a/c in my apartment works well.
• I am thankful that my pastor tells the lawnmower salesman about Jesus.
• I am grateful to work for an organization that provides for me to attend the Willow Creek Leadership Summit every summer.  I can hardly sleep I'm so excited about the next two days!
• I am thankful that there was a pool where I've been housesitting during this insane heat spell!
• I am thankful that God accepts my most honest prayers, especially when I'm sure I'm not saying it right.
• I am glad that when I feel absolutely crazy, He speaks peace.  
• I am thankful for my family and how they love each other and how they love me.  Wow.
• I am thankful that Walgreen's sells jugs of tea for times when I'm a little scatterbrained and forgetful.
• I am grateful that the Gospel is for Christians.
• I am thankful that I know God doesn't allow pain without purpose.
• I am glad there's a skip button for times when I don't like the song that just came on.
• I am thankful there are options for "mainstream" people who don't like "whiny" music.
• I am glad I have a blog where I can say what's running through my mind late on a Wednesday night and know that nobody has to read it.  

Strength In Weakness

Update:  Anita just called.  The wrong has been made right.  She just wanted me to know.  :-) 


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10


So, continuing with the theme of "rain" this week, I'd just like to say that when it rains it pours.  The pleasant showers I was hoping for have come more in the form of thunderstorms.


This week, I feel weak.  Every day, I come to work, and I just hope I can get through the day without making any major mistakes or allowing my weakness to upset anybody else's proverbial apple cart.  (I'm getting good with the cliches!)


This morning, however, Anita called.  Anita, my precious friend, a former client, someone God uses repeatedly to bless my socks off.  She was frantic, pouring out a story of someone who had used her Christian faith to manipulate her into a bad situation then sent her on a guilt trip when she stood up for herself.  She told me she was just calling to make sure I was in my office because she was coming to pray through it with me -- she needed my strength.  "This is bad, this is very, very bad," I thought to myself.  What have I left to give her this morning?  I have no reserves this week.  


And, of course, you know what happened next.  That Voice. That still, small, powerful, soothing Voice.  "Give her Me."  


Before I even had time to formulate a plan, Anita showed up.  She came inside my office, shut the door, sat down, and began telling her story.  And, the tears I hadn't yet shed today poured down my cheeks for her.  I listened.  I assured her she'd done nothing wrong.  I asked about other areas of her life and heard a glowing report of how she is doggedly pressing into Christ for her every need.  This woman has overcome more obstacles in her lifetime than you can conceive of were you to sit and count all day.  And, we prayed.  Grasping both hands, we bowed our heads and asked God for miracles.  I prayed until I ran out of words, fearful that what I had to offer her this morning might not be enough.  (Foolish, I know.)


When we'd finished praying.  We hugged, dried our tears, and then she said, "What do you need me to do today?"  I just stared at her.  "I've got time on my hands, how can I help out around here?"  I took her back to our warehouse/thrift store where I knew she'd be a welcome help.  As we passed others in the hallway who greeted her and asked how she was doing, she smiled brightly and said, "Oh, I'm blessed!"  


It was the most beautiful demonstration of Christ's power made perfect in weakness that I have ever personally witnessed.  And, then I was reminded of a story about Moses from Exodus 33 and how he insisted that the presence of God lead him and the Israelites or they would not move.  How I pray His presence would be so evident in my own life!



Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" 

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."  Exodus 33

It's Beginning to Rain ...

I’m coming to believe that nothing inspires a true fear of the Lord in me like a demonstration of Jesus’ magnificence.  This has been one seriously “Crazy or Jesus” week, and as I sit here at the end of it, having just witnessed another marvelous provision of God, I am struggling to find words for the things I am thinking and feeling.

This week alone, I have seen the Lord speak, counsel, and provide by His Spirit, by His Word, and by His Church in such specific and unique ways that I can find no other explanation for them but Christ alone. 

And, I vacillate between two responses to such grandeur. 

First, I am reminded of the story of Peter’s encounter with Jesus in Luke 5.  Having fished all night to no avail, Jesus comes to the fishermen and commands them to let down their nets one more time on the opposite side of the boat.  They are doubtful, but obedient, and they pull up a catch so large it strains their nets.  And Peter responds to Jesus, “Depart from me; I am a sinful man!” 

To be allowed to experience the grace of God in such personal ways tempts me to cry out, “God, don’t you know whom you are blessing?!  I am a sinful woman.   It’s too much.  It’s too wonderful.  It’s more than I can take!” But, Peter didn’t yet understand the grace and mercy of Christ.  He did not know that all his sin would be covered by Christ’s righteousness.  He didn’t know he could boldly approach the throne of grace and find mercy.  This leads me to my second response …

It’s ironic that I wrote earlier this week about praying for rain and carrying an umbrella because what I’m discovering today is that I’d much rather stand in the rain, face turned up, arms spread wide, and allow this incredible awareness of God’s extravagance to wash over me than to hold up an umbrella to shield me from it. 

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7

Summer Reading List Recommendations

This summer has afforded me the luxury of doing a lot of reading, and I've got some books I'd like to recommend.  There's no particular order to this madness, just a list of what I've read so far.

1.  This Just In by Bob Schieffer ... I picked this one up on the clearance shelf at Half-Price Books, and it's been a delightful read.  I didn't know much about Bob Schieffer or his career, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that he is a Fort Worth native.  Many of his stories center around places very near and dear to my heart!
2.  Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers ... So so good.  I'm super late to the party on this series.  I can't even explain why I put it off for so long, but I cannot say the last time a fictional work had such a profound impact on my spiritual thought life.  Remarkable.
3.  The Search for God and Guinness by Stephen Mansfield... I'm not done with this one yet, but I'm enjoying it enough that I figure it's okay to tell you about it.  This is the story of the Guinness family of brewers from Ireland and how their faith has impacted their family and so many others over whom they've had influence.  Fascinating.
4.  The Mountain Between Us by Charles Martin ... Charles Martin is by far and away my favorite fiction writer. He weaves a story and paints a picture with such captivating detail.   A friend suggested his writing to me a little over a year ago.  I read the first book, then went out and bought everything else he'd written.  This latest story did not disappoint in any way.  Beautiful.
5.  The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns ... Wow.  This was the surprise of the summer.  I downloaded an audio version of this book for free from www.christianaudio.com, and had it saved on my computer for several months before deciding to give it a try.  I am so thankful I did.  Richard Stearns is the US President of World Vision, and the first section of this book is the story of his own unlikely arrival at that position.  He has such a gift for blending story and scripture and statistics and history into a challenge for believers.  I cannot recommend this book strongly enough.
6.  Radical by David Platt ... I hate a band wagon.  Since everyone I knew was talking about this book, I almost didn't pick it up at all.  Besides, I'd heard that if I'd already read Francis Chan's Crazy Love, then I didn't have to read Platt.  However, I do love books on cd, so when Mardel ran this one on sale half-price, I picked it up and put it in my car.  I'm now wishing everyone I know would read/listen to this book.
7. The O'Malley Series by Dee Henderson ... putting this on my list is kind of like admitting there's some Miley Cyrus on my summer playlist.  It's pure, unadulterated fun.  This series of stories about a family of orphans who decided to share a last name and form a bond that carries them long into adulthood was a wonderful escape.  I can't say it challenged me spiritually or taught me anything about life in general, but it did help me appreciate my friend-family and make me smile a lot.

Praying for Rain and Carrying an Umbrella

Occasionally, I am impressed to pray something so specifically that I feel convinced it could only be from the Lord.  And, for a few days, I will pray it fervently.  Then, seeing no immediate effects or rewards, the fervency wanes.  I may pray it once or twice a week, eventually resorting to a rare mention of it in my prayers.  And, generally, when I’ve all but forgotten that I ever felt called to ask for whatever that thing was, the Lord provides.  He answers out of His abundance, and I am completely stunned.  I’m as caught off guard by the answer as if I’d never asked for it, as if I’d never believed that the prompting for the asking came from Him in the first place.  It’s a silly cycle really.

Two weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who’s been riding a perpetual emotional roller coaster in prayer for the last few years.  She believes she knows what the Lord has said to her, and she believes He’s affirmed that original message several times over.  But, nothing in her present circumstances indicates that an answer is on the way, so she doubts and fears and frets.   As I listened to her, I finally asked what I felt was the critical question, “Friend, what if you just decided to believe God?” What if you decided that He’s big enough to show you if you’re wrong, but as long as He continues to affirm His original word to you, you’re going to stand firm in that belief against all doubts or evidence to the contrary? 

Bold advice.  Easy to dispense.

Two days later, I hopped on my own roller coaster.  I found myself fretting at the feet of Jesus, wringing my hands and telling him all about my distress over His delayed answer to my very earnest request (the one He’d placed there!).  And, as if someone had pressed the “play” button on a recording of my conversation with my friend, I heard my own voice come back to me.  “Friend, what if you just decided to believe God?  What if you decided that He’s big enough to show you if you’re wrong, but as long as He continues to affirm His original word to you, you’re going to stand firm in that belief against all doubts or evidence to the contrary?”   I literally shook my head.  What if indeed …

A few days ago, I saw a church sign.  Now, I’m not a huge fan of church signs, the ones with the pithy sayings.  I generally find them cheesy at best, and too often obnoxious.  This one might have been a little bit of both, but it still got my attention.  It read simply, “If you’re praying for rain, be sure you carry an umbrella.”  I immediately began to wonder what it would look like to carry an umbrella – in other words, to live and act as though I expected my prayers to be answered at any moment.  How would my thinking change?  What would I do differently?  How would my conversations change?

In Joshua 6:1, the Bible says the city of Jericho was tightly shut up and nobody was getting in or out, but the Lord said to Joshua, “See I have delivered Jericho into your hands …”  Joshua would still have to march around the city wall and shout to see it fall, but Jericho was his from the moment God promised it.  He could carry an umbrella even though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  

Thoughts from Psalm 81

Oh that My people would listen to Me,

That Israel would walk in My ways!

I would quickly subdue their enemies

And turn My hand against their adversaries.

Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him,

And their time of punishment would be forever.

But I would feed you with the finest of wheat,

And with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.

Psalm 81:13-16

As I set out this morning to talk about this passage, I'm afraid I won't be able to do it justice.  I'm afraid I won't be able to clearly communicate how these words arrested my thoughts today.  I am so guilty of loving to read the good things in scripture, the ways the Lord says He'll bless obedient people, but completely glossing over the dire warnings for the disobedient.  I have spoken frequently of Isaiah 30:18, and how the Lord longs to be gracious and rises to show us compassion, but just because one longs for something doesn't mean that longing can be fulfilled.  God cannot honor disobedience.  

This morning, as I read Psalm 81, I was reminded of that truth anew.  It's as if the Lord says, "If Israel, my people, would just walk obediently, I would do so many incredible things for them!  I want so badly for them to turn and listen and obey so that I can not just satisfy them, but pour out abundance on them!"  

Then my heart was pierced by verse 15, "Those who hate the LORD would pretend obedience to Him ..." My thoughts exploded with a resounding question, "What does it mean to pretend obedience?"  It's a frightening thought because somehow, deep down inside, I know it's something I'm guilty of doing.  Pretending obedience.  Faking obedience.  Doing the right things with the wrong heart.  God says those who do that, hate Him and are faced with eternal punishment.  It's serious.

Thankfully, we know that the righteous redemption of Jesus has taken away eternal punishment for all who call on Him, but it is still a sobering reminder of how seriously God views disobedience.  And, what His heart's desire is for His children.  

"But I would feed you with the finest of wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." My prayer this morning is that I would not just be someone God wants to bless, but that I would be an obedient someone God can and will bless in the ways that He longs to do. 

A Quarter Century?!?

How bad is it when you start to feel embarrassed to tell someone how long you've been a Christian because it makes you sound old?  :-)
Today marks 25 years since the night I first asked Jesus to come into my heart, since I first accepted His gift of eternal life and salvation, since He justified, redeemed, sanctified, regenerated ... Often, my own theological education gets in the way of allowing me to fully celebrate this day because I'm afraid I might say it wrong and offend someone or sound like heretic to another.  Sometimes, I still wonder if I have a clue what all those big words mean.
I definitely had no idea what any of them meant on that day.  All I knew was that I was a sinner, and that God was holy (which meant He couldn't dwell with sinners), and that if I wanted to make things right with God and spend eternity in heaven with Him (which I definitely did), I was gonna need some help from His perfect Son, Jesus. Today, I feel like the blind man to whom Jesus gave sight. When people started asking him about Jesus, he exclaimed, "All I know is that I was blind, and now I see!" (John 9:25)
There are a lot of things I've done in the last 25 years of which I am not proud at all.  There are many things I'd rather forget.  But, knowing Jesus, trusting Him with each new day, taking refuge in His cross -- that's the best thing that's ever happened to me.  In Galatians 6:14, Paul said it this way, "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Let it be so.