Ridiculous

Ridiculous [rid-ik-yuh-luhs] – causing or worthy of ridicule or derision; absurd; preposterous; laughable

I used this word in two different ways today.

First, I am a ridiculous person.

Second, God is ridiculous in His steadfast lovingkindness toward me.

In speaking about myself, I meant it in the worst possible sense of the word.  In speaking about the Lord, I meant it in the best possible sense of the word.  I was right on both accounts.

I’ve read my Bible in personal devotion exactly twice in the last two weeks.  In place of time in the Word, I’ve wallowed in laziness, self-pity, foolish choices, and cynicism.  I’ve mocked God’s sovereignty, calling His provision coincidence with bitterness in my heart. 

Last week, I picked my Bible up, turned the pages flippantly to that day’s reading, and rolled my eyes as I began to read Psalm 136.  Repetition drives me nuts, so the fact that the one day I decided to read fell on the same day I was assigned to read a Psalm that repeats the same phrase over and over again, annoyed me greatly.  But, I pressed on, reading twenty-six times over, “The steadfast love of the LORD endures forever.”  I remember thinking vaguely that I’d taught others in the past that the Lord repeats things in Scripture because they’re important, and they’re things we’re likely to forget.  In my self-centeredness I missed the point, though.  I couldn’t have felt less lovable that day, and the Lord had sovereignly ordained that I would read over and over again that His love for me knows no end. Ridiculously foolish of me.  Ridiculously gracious of Him.

This week, I woke once again in a self-loathing mood.  I sat down and wrote a long, grumbling, pitiful journal entry acknowledging that I had indeed given up on myself and suggesting to God that He should do the same.  I’m obviously a very slow learner.  (Ridiculously slow!)  It would be ridiculous of Him to continue wasting time, love, grace on me.  Surely others are much more deserving (of "undeserved favor").  I didn’t even read my Bible.  I was out of time because I took so long throwing my pity party.  I arrived at work, turned on my computer, and began clicking through my RSS Feeds.  My daily Bible reading plan was obviously very back logged, so almost mindlessly, I clicked on the audio feed for the day’s reading without even looking to see what it was.  A few moments later, I recognized the promise-filled words of Isaiah 54 filling my speakers.  Here’s just a snippet of what I heard,

For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, 

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, 

and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,"

 says the LORD, who has compassion on you. 

"O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, 

behold, I will set your stones in antimony, 

and lay your foundations with sapphires. 

Isaiah 54:10-11

I sat there, stunned and teary-eyed.  And, I thought to myself, “How many times is God going to tell me that His love for me is steadfast before I stop being surprised by the steadfastness of His love?” 

Ridiculous!