Stories I Couldn't Tell

When I worked as a case manager for Meals on Wheels, I kept a journal on my desk.  As funny things would happen, I'd stop and jot them down under the heading, "Stories I Couldn't Tell When I Was a Case Manager."  This week, someone at Cornerstone who happens to also be a Meals on Wheels volunteer found that journal on an abandoned shelf in the copy room.  She returned it to me ... after she'd read the entries.  She was so amused by them, I took some time to go back a read a few of them myself.  I know I say there's never a dull moment at Cornerstone, but I'm not sure any job will ever provide the laughs that M.O.W. did ...

During my first week on the job, my supervisor took me out to deliver meals for the first time.  We were on a route outside of my territory, but I was still learning about how sites and routes worked.  We stopped at a home, and I got out with the meal in hand while my boss turned the car around.  A large Marmaduke-sized dog came galloping out to meet me.  He literally stood taller than my waist.  From somewhere behind the partially cracked front door a male voice yelled, "Get in here!"  I hoped he was talking to the dog.  The dog ran up a wheelchair ramp, and I followed suit.  The voice said, "You can put the meal on the counter," so I made my way through a dark, cluttered living space over to the kitchen and found space for his meal.  As I set the meal down, I turned with my brightest grin to wish him a happy day only to find a very hairy old man sitting in a wheelchair ... butt naked!

I made it back to my boss' car and told her about the man.  She said, "We really should go back in there and tell him he has to wear clothes."  I calmly replied, "This is not my territory.  That is not my naked man."  A year later, she told our entire staff that was the moment she knew her sheltered little Baptist seminary student was going to make the cut as a case manager.