100 Things You Might Not Know About Me

1. I speak Spanish.
2. I am an only child.
3. I don't like peas (unless they're sugar snaps).
4. I am a bad missionary (but that hasn't stopped God from using me from time to time).
5. I listen to sports talk radio during football season, and sometimes during March Madness.
6. When I watch pro football, I turn the tv down and the radio up.
7. I am addicted to As the World Turns.
8. Getting real mail makes my day.
9. Gerber Daises in bright colors are my favorite flowers.
10. I feel very vulnerable without my cell phone.
11. I don't like walnuts, not even in brownies.
12. The easiest way to anger me is to underestimate me.
13. One of my goals in life is to memorize Psalm 119.
14. When I was in high school, I did a film project on George Lucas without ever watching Star Wars.
15. I can quote most of Steel Magnolias.
16. I used to be a labor coach for birthmoms at the Gladney Center for Adoption.
17. I think rap music is funny.
18. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
19. Jack Vettriano is my favorite painter.
20. I don't think Brad Pitt is very attractive.
21. I do think Denzel Washington is the sexiest man in Hollywood.
22. I have declared February 1 National Tanning Day.
23. I think my birthday should be declared a National Holiday -- Happy Yom Horton!
24. I've never been to NYC.
25. When my mind wonders, I count ... or make lists.
26. My roommate and I have the same last name, but as far as we know, we are not related. My best friend's in-laws also have this last name. I think we're related, but I haven't proved it yet.
27. I am a good cook, but I rarely stick to a recipe.
28. I think female sports casters are annoying.
29. I would rather be cold than hot.
30. I prefer donuts when they are fresh but not warm.
31. I don't drink milk, not even in cereal. If I don't want to eat dry cereal, I put yogurt over it.
32. Blackberries are my favorite berry.
33. I like taking surveys and fun quizzes.
34. I am not as open as I seem.
35. I journal ... a lot! It is not uncommon for me to fill up an entire blank book every three months.
36. My favorite dessert at the Cheesecake Factory is Strawberry Shortcake.
37. I have had six documented broken bones, and currently have a swollen pinky finger that should probably be taped up.
38. I have an uncanny knack for remembering dates and numbers. It's ridiculous how many people's birthdays I have memorized.
39. I am obsessed with having soft skin, and put lotion on my hands at least four times a day.
40. The thing I hear people say about me most often is, "That girl sure does know how to have fun."
41. 10:00 is my bedtime, and I'm fairly religious about it.
42. I am a morning person.
43. I cheer for the Texas Longhorns in football even though the rest of my family are definitely Aggie fans.
44. I type a lot of words per minute.
45. I check about 20 blogs a day.
46. I don't know how to drive a stick-shift car.
47. I've never had much desire to live outside of Texas. Not unwilling, just no desire.
48. I have the phone numbers to my three favorite pick up restaurants in my cell phone.
49. My middle name is the same as my mom's and my great-grandmother's. Her parents chose it on the way to the hospital when they passed a sign for the R.E.A. (Rural Electric Agency).
50. If I could figure out how to charge my friends for all of the advice I give, I'd be rich.
51. My favorite meal is pb&j with goldfish crackers on the side and apple juice to drink.
52. I never had MTV growing up, but it was part of the cable package at the dorm my freshman year in college at H-S-H-S-U-U!
53. I majored in Spanish in college, planning to get my Master's in Business Administration and do interational business as a platform for missions. God had a different plan.
54. My favorite hairbrush is pink and I've had it since the 7th grade. The handle is held together by duct tape, and my friends think it's gross.
55. My favorite word is "mariposa" and it means butterfly in Spanish.
56. I am guilty of using the clothes dryer as an "iron" in the mornings.
57. The am a big fan of the "repeat" button my stereo and have been known to listen to the same cd in my car for weeks at a time.
58. I sleep with a stuffed teddy bear named "Snuggles" that my dad gave me for Valentine's Day when I was in college.
59. I am always jealous of people at WalMart who have those purple flip flops that light up when they walk.
60. The title of my first book is going to be "These Prayers I Prayed" and talk about the different and surprising ways God has answered prayer in my life.
61. I attended three different schools in the 7th grade.
62. Cilantro makes almost anything taste better.
63. I usually drink coffee black.
64. If I didn't think it would kill me eventually, I'd eat brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts and drink diet coke for breakfast every day.
65. When I was in college, I had a strange obsession with Classic Winnie the Pooh decor.
66. Having a pedicure is one of my favorite ways to "treat" myself.
67. I love throwing parties and getting friends together.
68. I'm not a good matchmaker.
69. I don't consider myself to be a terribly curious person.
70. I dislike being interviewed.
71. I've never written my own resume.
72. In college, I did not use an alarm clock or wear a watch for over three years.
73. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I don't play an instrument or a sport.
74. My ministry experience background includes having worked with: children, youth, college students, single adults, women, and the homebound.
75. My favorite pizza is Hawaiian -- ham and pineapple!
76. My dad calls me "Kritty Rea" and when he is messing me with me, he calls "Here Kritty, Kritty, Kritty" as though he were calling for a cat.
77. I use any excuse I can think of to wear a tiara.
78. I have a strange fascination with coasters. I'd collect them if I could figure out what to do with them all once I had them!
79. I only listen to country music when I'm in a good mood.
80. I don't usually enjoy live concerts -- I prefer to have volume control!
81. It's important to me that my toes and fingers have matching polish.
82. I feel very self-conscious when I wear my hair straight.
83. I often refer to my spiritual gifts as "the man gifts" because they are not ones that seem to be common for women.
84. The person I miss most in this world is my great-grandmother who went to be with Jesus last December.
85. I get giddy inside whenever I read or hear Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it in you until the Day of our Lord Jesus Christ."
86. My printer is sitting under the wingback chair in my bedroom because it stopped printing one day and I never took the time to figure out why.
87. My boss thinks I'm a computer whiz!
88. I don't balance my checkbook regularly.
89. A few years ago, my dad gave me a turtle shaped tiffany lamp for Christmas that he said reminded him of me. After staring at the thing for a few months with very hurt feelings as I wondered what about a turtle shaped lamp reminded my Daddy of me, I finally asked my mom. She pointed out the hearts in the glass and said he'd seen them and knew how much I liked heart shapes. Oh!
90. Opening the stockings is my favorite part of Christmas.
91. Habakkuk is my favorite book of the Bible, and if I could figure out how to make it cool, I'd name my firstborn son after the prophet.
92. For Christmas one year, I received a box of chocolates, and since it was all mine, I did what I'd always wanted to do -- bit into each one and only ate the ones that I liked, leaving uneaten halves for anyone who dared mess with them!
93. My grandfather has his pilot's license, and my first airplane ride was in his Cessna.
94. I never owned a Brittney Spears, N'Sync, or Backstree Boys cd.
95. I don't know how to send text messages, and my phone is blocked from receiving them.
96. As a childbirth coordinator for the Gladney Center, I have attended close to a dozen live births, and every single one of them was a miracle.
97. I do not sing solos. Not even karaoke.
98. I've had the same best friend since the 7th grade, and I still talk to her at least once a week.
99. I have been a bridesmaid in 8 weddings (maid of honor is 4), had to turn down requests to be a bridesmaid in three others, and served cake or punch in more than I could count. For this reason, when I meet new friends, I start off by letting them know that no matter how close we get, I will not ever agree to be a bridesmaid in their weddings. They laugh. I'm serious.
100. I stayed up way past my bedtime creating this completely pointless list! I had no idea it would be so difficult to find things to say about myself.

Ephesians 1

I've been picked on in the past for writing "What does this verse mean to you?" before sharing a passage with you. That is not my way of encouraging a poor method of Biblical interpretation. It's my way of asking you ... Have you read this passage lately? How does this Truth change your life? I'm hooked on Ephesians this week, and this is the truth I want to share with you today. I'd love to hear anything God reveals to you as you read these precious words. :-)

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

My Commentary on V-Day

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

A few months ago, I told you about the sad, bored Pokemon VCR sitting in my bedroom, just waiting to be used. I thought you would all be pleased to know that the Pokemon VCR and Pikachu remote control have found their place in the heart of the Wonder House after emergency exploratory surgery was unable to salvage the old recorder we'd been using. (Thanks for rescuing the Tae-Bo tape, though!) If you have any questions about how to work the remote control, you just push in the middle of his chest to turn him on. ;-)

Nothing Wasted

I think most of you know that I consider myself a "Bad Missionary." The semester after I graduated from college (H-S ... H-S ... U-U!), I spent three months in Guadalajara, Mexico. I cried almost every day I was there and felt like a horrible failure when I returned. I refused to leave the country for the next three years. In fact, I didn't even leave the state of Texas! After 10 days in Morelia, Mexico summer before last and two weeks in Central Asia last summer, I have come to understand that God can use even me on the mission field if I'm obedient to His call, but I've always felt like that trip to Guadalajara was so bad. This morning, my dad called. His Uncle Terry is having a birthday party this weekend, and he had called Aunt Margie to find out where to send a card. In course of conversation, they exchanged information about "the kids." Daddy told her how I was set to graduate from seminary this Spring, and he mentioned how much my cousins and I had enjoyed our visit to see her and Uncle Terry a few years ago (the Christmas after I returned from Guaddy). Aunt Margie got excited when he mentioned that and told him that her daughter, Maddie (who was in middle school back then) had gone on a mission trip to Mexico last summer. Aunt Margie said it changed Maddie's life. She came back so excited and talking about the people and very passionate about her relationship with Christ. When she signed up for classes in school, they told her not to take Spanish 4 unless she was a native speaker, but she told her mom, "Kristen did it." She passed that and is taking Spanish 5 this year. She still has her pictures up in her room from her trip, talks about taking more trips, and has dedicated her life to serving the Lord. Aunt Margie told my dad she really believes a seed was planted more than four years ago when my cousins and I spent the weekend with them. As my dad finished filling me in on Aunt Margie, Uncle Terry, and Maddie, he said, "Kristi, that trip that you thought was such a disaster planted a seed that is still bearing fruit." And, in my heart I heard a very clear Voice saying to me, "I do not waste a thing."

Jeremiah 32:27, "I am the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me?"

This is Kimbo.

This is Kimbo. Sunday was her birthday. I didn't forget. I just thought it would be more fun to celebrate her like this. Kimbo and I met in high school. She was the first person I ever saw God really take control over and transform in front of my very eyes. When she decided to follow Christ, there was no turning back, and thousands of children will never be the same because of it. Not to mention her husband, her beautiful boys, or those of us who get to be her friends! When we were still in high school, Kimbo gave me a gift -- a set of charms to go on my bracelet. One was a pair of hands clasped in friendship, the other was a small icthus, representing Christ. The two together represented what made our sisterhood so special. It was founded and grounded in Him. A lot has changed since high school. We grew up a little. Went to college. Kimbo married the boy she met her freshman year at DBU. They had sons -- two of them. Beautiful boys. They worked in a church in Texas. Now, they live and work at a church in Alabama. We don't get to see one another or talk often, but two things stand out to me when I think about this special woman. 1. Every time I hear her name, I smile. 2. Every time I think about her life, I'm drawn closer to the Lord and reminded of what His power at work in a life looks like.

A Pink and Purple House

This last year has begun a new era in my walk with the Lord. He's been communicating with me in a new way. It took me a while to know what to make of it, but I'm getting used to the ways He paints pictures in my head to help me see where we're at or where we're going. It started with last January when I first started praying about going to Central Asia in the summer. I kept telling Him there were too many obstacles. That's when the picture in my head was a long race track with a bunch of hurdles labeled with all of the reasons I didn't think I could go. I was standing at the start line, and my friend was standing at the other end, with a large map of her country and her people behind her. As I began moving forward on the track, a large Hand would come down and literally hurl the hurdles out of my way. I never had to "jump" a single one. And, in so many ways that is exactly how that trip came about. In the Fall, when Pappy was diagnosed with cancer and so many other things in life felt so hard, the picture was of a long, dark tunnel. I could feel that we were moving forward, but there was no light just yet, and I knew that God was the conductor, in control, and we would eventually see daylight. Most recently, as I begin to move past that dark tunnel in my life, but still feel the effects of those difficult days, the picture in my head is of a concrete slab. Cold, dull, gray, lifeless, square, boring ... but a foundation, absolutely necessary for building anything that can last. When the Lord revealed this one to me, I laughed out loud and asked Him, "Hey God, remember when I was a little girl and we lived in the barrio in South Texas? Remember how I always wanted a pink and purple house like my friends down the street? Yeah, that was cool." I hope that whenever God gets ready to paint whatever it is He's building in my life, He makes it bright and colorful.

Hook 'Em

I've never been so proud to be wearing burnt orange in my entire life. :-) What a game! Hope you were able to see every last second. That was fun!

Let It Be Said Of Us

I moved into a new room this week, and as part of the moving process, I have been going through old papers and trying to throw stuff away. Today, I came across these lyrics. It's an older song, I think. I printed them early last year and carried them in my notebook, so I'd look at them each day. Someone once said, "Live life with the end in view." Here it goes!

Let it be said of us that the Lord was our passion,
That with gladness we bore ev'ry cross we were given;

That we fought the good fight, that we finished the course,
Knowing within us the pow'r of the risen Lord.

Let the cross be our glory, and the Lord be our song,
By mercy made holy, by the Spirit made strong.
Let the cross be our glory, and the Lord be our song,
'Til the likeness of Jesus be through us made known;
Let the cross be our glory, and the Lord be our song.

Let it be said of us we were marked by forgiveness,
We were known by our love, and delighted in meekness.

We were ruled by His peace, heeding unity's call;
Joined as one body, that Christ would be seen by all.

Let the cross be our glory, and the Lord be our song,
By mercy made holy, by the Spirit made strong.
Let the cross be our glory, and the Lord be our song,
'Til the likeness of Jesus be through us made known.

Let the cross be our glory and the Lord be our song.

When I look back over last year, the only question that really matters to me is: Do I look more like Jesus now than I did then?

January 1

Anybody else holiday and reflectioned out? I am just tired today, and as much as I want to say something meaningful about the past year or something hopeful about the coming year, I really prefer to lay on the couch and check my myspace for new friends every couple of hours. :-) Happy New Year everyone! -- Kristen

My Calm // Your Storm

Anyone familiar with this Caedmon's Call album? It was their first recording, and a good friend of mine is looking for a copy of it. Amazon.com has one used copy for $30.00 Anyone got a better idea? Let me know if you know where I can get this? Thanks!

Verses That Will Always Remind Me of 2005

Psalm 3:3 But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head.

Psalm27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. 5 They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed.

Psalm 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Psalm 103:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; 3Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; 4Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; 5Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Psalm 65:11 You crown the year with Your goodness, and Your paths drip with abundance.

Psalm 108:13 Through God we will do valiantly, For it is He who shall tread down our enemies.

Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Joshua 6:2 And the LORD said to Joshua: “See! I have given Jericho into your hand, its king, and the mighty men of valor.

Ruth 3:18 Then she said, “Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.”

Proverbs 31:25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.

1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.

Merry Christmas

It's nearly midnight, Christmas Eve. We've opened everything but the stockings and had a great time doing so. There's just something fun about Christmas time. It's particularly more fun this year having Mimi with us, though I know we're all aware that Grandmother and Pappy are missing. We did make it to a beautiful candlelight service this year, and I was especially blessed by the man sitting a few seats down from me. His face lit up like a child's as the service was starting and I heard him telling the man sitting next to him that he'd celebrated Christmas for 43 years without ever knowing that it was all about Jesus. There was wonder in his voice as he took in the the scene of worshippers around him, and I admit there was a lump in my throat as I heard him heartily bellowing out the familiar carols throughout the service. I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas this year. I pray that your heart will find a quiet place to celebrate the Babe in the manger who came that you might have life abundant and free.
Because of Him,
Kristen

In Favor of Church and Christmas

So the big debate in our house this weekend is which church service(s) are we going to in celebration of Christmas, and what it really boils down to is how many times do we want to take time away from our football watching, pickle eating, baking, present opening, staring at each other schedules to get dressed up and presentable and drive the 10 minutes down the road to light candles and sing carols. For the record, I'm in favor of church services to celebrate Christmas, and I'm disappointed in the lack of enthusiasm I sense from my family regarding this matter. I've refrained from jumping on my soapbox about this one this year, but really?!

Movie Review

I rarely value my own opinion when it comes to movies. I freely admit that there is very little validity to my critique of anything remotely artistic. When it comes to movies or music or even works of art, I tend to say "I liked it because I liked it" and that's about as much as you'll get from me. This afternoon, my dad took mom, Mimi, and me to see "The Family Stone" and I liked it ... in a Stepmom meets The Fockers sort of way. Just thought you should know.

The Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago, I had four living grandparents. Now, I have three.
A year ago, I would have never dreamed I'd actually get on a plane a fly to Central Asia. I did it.
A year ago, I'd been to the Wonder House once. Now, I've lived here for six months.
A year ago, Egbert and Dia had been on one date. Today, they are married.
A year ago, Dodie, Holly, Gera, Michele, and Carrie all lived in Fort Worth. Now, they are all over the country.
A year ago, I still wasn't sure about graduation. Now, I have six hours left.
A year ago, Jaclyn was just finding out she was pregnant. Now, Jaxon is nearly four months old.
A year ago, Emma was still in utero, today, she crawls and pulls up and smiles and jabbers, and has teeth, and a personality that lets us in on what she's thinking and feeling.
A year ago, I had a best friend who called daily. Today, we are strangers.
A year ago, Cody and Suzanne we're "just talking" -- now, we're planning their wedding for June.
A year ago, I had a lot of intellectual knowledge about the fear of the Lord, about God's character, His faithfulness and trustworthiness, and how big He is. Now, I have a little bit more experiential understanding of each of those things.
A year ago, I had no idea what March Madness was. This year, I filled out a bracket!
A year ago, phrases like "wait on the Lord" and "wrestle with me" meant nothing to me. Today, they make me shudder.
A year ago, I had never heard the "Thou, O Lord" song, and now, I can't get it out of my head.
A year ago, I'd never bought tires by myself or chosen my own mechanic. Now, I have the credit card bill to prove my progress.
A year ago, I didn't cry so easily. Today will be unusual if something doesn't bring a tear at least once.
A year ago, I had to watch Gilmore Girls by myself. Now, Barb tapes it for me and waits to watch it with me!
It's been a good year.

Psalm 95:11 ... You have crowned the year with bounty and your paths drip with fatness.

Why I Might Want a Wedding

So, even though I know I was kind of scroogy about weddings earlier this week, having attended Dia and Egbert's beautiful Christmas ceremony last night, I'm thinking there might be some good reasons to actually have a wedding. Here are a few of them:

10. I love a good party.
9. It's important to make a commitment, witnessed by people who will hold you accountable.
8. When else are you going to have all of your family and friends in one place and be alive to enjoy it?
7. Dia really looked happy and kept saying how much fun she was having -- I like to be happy and have fun.
6. I've always wanted an excuse to put together a photograph slide show.
5. I didn't know I could have fun music like "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" -- I thought I had to only pick from songs I couldn't pronounce, had never heard, or couldn't differentiate between.
4. My bridesmaids can pick their own dresses!
3. It's a great excuse to go on vacation to some fabulous location afterwards.
2. It's a great chance go get back at all you people who've made me be in your weddings.
1. I get to be the PRINCESS and wear a tiara!

Why I Plan to Elope

After watching the last minute madness of the week before the wedding for the second time this year, have decided that if and when it is my turn, I should elope. Here's why:

10. No invitations to word, print, address, or mail.
9. No $500 dress to buy and wear for 3 hours then store for 20 years only to have my daughter decide it's not her style.
8. No deciding which of my amazing friends to make stand up beside me in matching dresses.
7. No torturing myself with a neverending list of miniscule details about things I couldn't care less about.
6. No pictures for my kids to make fun of later.
5. No disagreeing with my mom about proper etiquette.
4. No awkward moment of 200 of my closest friends and relatives staring at me as I walk down an aisle, rating my sense of style based on the colors, flowers, and dresses I choose.
3. Money available for other needs -- like the downpayment on a house!
2. No hours of posing for pictures that I'm going to critique to death and never want to look at anyway.
1. No having to decide whether to wear my hair up or down or have it cut before or after the wedding.

Basically, I do not like to make decisions and I really hate details, so the thought of all the stuff and stress I've seen go into the wedding planning all of my friends have done makes me think eloping is the answer. Anyone who's married want to argue with me? :-)

Holiday Poll

I'm taking a poll ... What is your favorite Christmas song? What holiday tune could you go the rest of your life without hearing again? Which song has been overdone or overplayed this year?

Some Weeks Are Just Bloggable

Some weeks are just bloggable. If you don't believe me, ask Holly.
For me, this week started last Friday afternoon. I was flying to Corpus Christi to spend time with my grandmother and speak to her church about the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering. I set my cell phone up with a reminder message to give me gate and departure information. The call came as expected, and I had a friend drop me off at Gate D11, as the phone had said -- only when I got inside the terminal, I discovered that my flight was leaving from gate B11, and I had two terminals to travel in less than 45 minutes. Thank goodness for Skylink! Of course, I would get in the security line behind a group of people traveling together, half of whom have been "randomly" selected to have their luggage checked more thoroughly.
Sunday morning, Mimi and I were doing well heading out the door to church on time when I hit the garage door button while the back hatch of her minivan was up and managed to get the door handle snagged and have the garage door and the hatch locked together. Fortunately, Mimi and I are both relatively intelligent women (obviously!) and were able to rectify the situation without damage to either door. It was a tense moment, though, while we determined if we really were trapped.
On Monday, I took two finals and received word that my precious punkin' Emma Powell was in the hospital, having vomitted every bit of nutrition she had in her body. Before going on to study for my third and final examination, I took a detour by Cook's Children's Hospital, and allowed Emma'sDaddy to entertain me with stories of what goes on after midnight in the Children's ER.
On Tuesday, I took my last final -- kicked it in the butt with cletes on, I think! -- then headed to work where I had the pleasure of conducting a recertification interview with a 63 year old woman while she sat in her bathtub. The worst part about that was that I've been doing this job so long, I didn't even remember to tell the story until this morning!
On Wednesday, winter weather started moving into the DFW area. We were told to deliver meals as quickly as possible and get home. I was safely snuggled under a quilt on the couch watching Maury Povich help hopelessly clueless women determine the paternity of their multiple children. Boredom led to web surfing and random IM chats with Bob. That evening, we had a "Happy Cold as Crap Day" party where we ate Chili and CornBread (thanks Josh!) and watched Elf. Sometime after putting on a second movie, Dia and Suzanne noticed that the house seemed to be getting colder. Could it possibly be from the cold air blowing through the vents?! Hmm...Sure enough, for the third time in two weeks our pilot light was out. The guys worked on it for a good thirty minutes before giving up, bundling up, and heading out to WalMart for space heaters while we built a pallet on Dana's floor -- the largest room in the Wonder House. While the guys were gone, Dia took a shot at the pilot light herself and managed to get some heat going. Yipee! That lasted through the night, but it was out again midmorning Thursday at which point we made a second phone call to the landlord who promised to send a friend by to look at it. Said friend confirmed that the gas pump was out and we'd have to wait for landlord to return from out of town to have it fixed/replaced. Brrrr! We bundled and layered up last night -- yes, we know we could have stayed elsewhere, but having dealt with the cold all day and knowing we had to be up and ready for work this moring, we elected to just spend another night in Dana's room. Sleeping was honestly fine, but getting ready in a 52 degree house was unbelievable! I've never seen three girls move so fast in my life! I was at work by 7:30 a.m.!
The landlord is here now, working on things. Hopefully, there will be heat soon.
Wow.
Oh, gosh, I didn't even tell you about the part where I get to work this morning only to find out that one of my clients is claiming one of our meals made him ill and he's got the evidence on his "shorts" to prove it. He tried to hand me a bag with his dirty underpants in it!
Yeah, totally bloggable ...

Whatsoever things are true ...

I've made a point of meditating on this part of Philippians 4:8 this week, asking God to allow me to keep in mind only the things are true, to allow truth to reign in my heart and mind about a variety of things. And, the replies came rapidly ... "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life ..." "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free ..." "Love does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices in the truth ..."
What truths are you clinging to this Christmas Season?

Happy Snow Day!

The first Happy Snow Day was Spring 2003. It started with pre-8 a.m. phone calls wishing everyone a "Happy Snow Day!", lunch at Steak and Shake where Tony brought a list of random, useless facts and Rhett and Derek dressed in matching mock-turtlenecks. It ended with a girls slumber party at my house and a great round of the shuffle button game! The next "Happy Snow Day" was Valentine's Day 2004. We had a fabulous snowball fight on Sandage, followed by Cody and Jake's all you can eat pancake contest at IHOP and pictures with our waitress. Last year didn't really see a good snow day other than a few flurries right before Christmas, but most people had already left town for the holidays at that point. Today, is another edition of Happy Snow Day. After having Josh help me deliver two routes of meals to my clients, I stationed myself on the couch under lots of blankets! Dia came home shortly there after, and Dana wasn't far behind. Suz and Cody have been by and will be back, and Josh is at the store right now getting stuff for Chili and renting Elf. It's going to be a great night! :-)

Greatest TV To Watch on Happy Snow Day

10. Happy Days -- the one where Fonzie's in the army.
9. Maury Povich -- who's my baby daddy?
8. The Energy Guy -- who knew holding bananas next to your heart gave you superhuman strength?
7. Live Continuing Coverage of the Winter Weather in DFW -- how many ways can you say Baby, it's cold outside?
6. Andy Griffith -- the one where Mayberry gets fleeced.
5. Holiday Affair -- the leftover Christmas movie from the Wedgwood Public Library.
4. Simon and Simon -- enough said!
3. Spanish Soaps -- since they postponed all the English ones until after midnight.
2. Spanish Jerry Springer ... Spanish Inside Edition ... Spanish News ... you get the point.
1. And ... dunh, duhn, dunnnn ... Kirk Franklin on TBN!

Top 10 Fun Words To Say!

10. Dastardly
9. Extremities
8. Fu Man Chu
7. Wee Little Bob
6. Glory!
5. Francisco ... that's fun to say!
4. Snarling
3. Hope
2. Clandestine
1. Mariposa!

A Word from Beth

Name Calling
Scripture Reading: John 11:1-44

Today's Treasure: "Then Jesus said, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?' " (John 11:40).

My name is Had. You may know me, but you may not know my new name. You may have no idea what I've been through because I do my best to look the same. I am scared to death of you. I used to be just like you. I once held my head up high without propping it on my hymnal.
I was well respected back then, and I even respected myself. I was wholeheartedly devoted to God, and if the truth be known, somewhere deep inside I was sometimes the slightest bit proud of my devotion. Then I'd repent.because I knew that was wrong. I didn't want to be wrong. Not ever.
People looked up to me. And life looked good from up there. I felt good about who I was. That was before I was Had. Strangely, I no longer remember my old name. I just remember I liked it. I liked who I was. I wish I could go back. I wish I'd just wake up. But I fear I'm wide awake. I have had a nightmare. And the nightmare was me. Had.
If I could really talk to you and you could really listen, I'd tell you I have no idea how all this happened. Honestly, I was just like you. I didn't plan to be Had. I didn't want to be had. One day I hadn't, then the next day I had.
Oh, I know now where I went wrong. I have rewound the nightmare a thousand times, stopping it right at the point where I departed the trail of good sense. The way ahead didn't look wrong. It just looked different. Strange, he didn't look like the devil in the original scene. But every time I replayed it, he dropped another piece of his masquerade. When he finally took off his mask, he was laughing at me. Nothing seems funny anymore. I will never laugh again as long as he's laughing.
If only I could go back. I would see it this time! I would walk around the trap camouflaged by the brush, and I would not be Had. I would be Proud. Was that my old name? I can't even remember who I was anymore. I thought I was Good. Not Proud. But I don't know anymore.
Would you believe I never heard the trap shut? Too many voices were shouting in my head. I just knew I got stuck somewhere unfamiliar, and soon I didn't like the scenery anymore. I wanted to go home. My ankle didn't even hurt at first. Not until the infection set in. Then I thought I would die.
I lay like a whimpering doe while the wolf howled in the darkness. I got scared. I pulled the brush over me and hid. Then I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there or I was sure it would kill me. I didn't belong there. I refused to die there.
I pulled and pulled at the trap, but the foothold wouldn't budge. The blood gushed. I had no way out. I screamed for God. I told Him where I was and the shape I was in. He came for me.
The infection is gone. He put something on it and cleaned it up instantly. As He inspected my shattered ankle, I kept waiting for Him to say, "You deserved this, you know. You've been Had. " Because I did and I know and I have. He hasn't said it yet. I don't know whether He will or not. I don't know how much to trust Him yet. I've never known Him from this side. My leg still hurts. God says it will heal with time. But I fear I will always walk with a limp.
You see, I wrestled with the devil and he gave me a new name. Had.
All sorts of people will read this. People who want to help Had. People who want to judge Had. People who want to know how bad was Had. And people who want to know how sorry is Had. They can read it if they want, but this part is not for them. It's just for you. Had.
In case no one has said it to you yet, I sure am sorry you've been Had. It's horrible, isn't it? Devastating not to live up to your own expectation. To become such a pauper to Grace. I've been Had a time or two myself. It's been awhile, but I remember well what it was like being him.
God says He doesn't want me to forget. I asked Him why. He said too many people have been Had out there. All sorts of ways to be Had. Good and Proud think there are just a few, but if they're not careful, they may be Wrong. And someday they may even be Had. I used to wish I could be Good and Proud again, but I don't anymore. I don't want to be Good, Proud, or Had. I just want to be Healed.
God says He will never let me be so Healed that I forget about Had. There have been more Hads than Good and Proud may ever know. Sometimes it takes a Has Been to know a Had.
One thing is for sure. Had needs a lot of Help. Healed's nickname is Help. He got the name because of what he does. He can't stop. Healed Hads Help.
God wanted to make sure I never act like I haven't been Had. So He left the scars. He kept a set on His own hands and feet and left one on my ankle. That's OK. My scars bear the marks of death. Don't let anyone tell you that being Had won't kill you. It will. It was meant to. If it doesn't, you've been Had for nothing and you'll be Had again.
Christ raises the dead only after they die. Before I was Had, God kept saying, "You are not yet Dead. " So instead I was Had. Christ let Lazarus lie dead for four days, but not because He was mean. Scripture says He loved Lazarus even though He let the illness kill him. Perhaps we all need to know how it feels to be dead for awhile. But do we believe we might see the glory of God? That's what Christ told Martha she would see. When He raised Lazarus from the dead, Christ did not raise him sick. He raised him Healed. I have a suspicion that Lazarus never got to kid himself into thinking he could never get sick again. He just asked for Grace never to be Had again.
Come on, Had. Let's you and I go on a walk together. It's time for you to go home. Maybe to a part of God's home where you've never even been. I'll walk you part of the way, and we'll talk. You don't have to hang your head with me. Then again, you can if you want. You can cry, get mad, throw rocks, and kick the dirt. Been there. Just keep walking.

Adapted from When Godly People Do Ungodly Things, by Beth Moore, pages 201-205. Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2002.
Living Proof Ministries 281.859.1375

Disturbing?

Am I the only that finds the idea of a "snack that smiles back" a little less than appealing?

Warning: High Wind Gusts

So, Dallas-Ft.Worth experienced some unusually high wind gusts all day today, this evening in particular. I was driving from my parents' house in Plano back to Ft. Worth, with a stop at DFW Airport to pick up my roommate, Dana. I parked by the curb outside of baggage claim and waited for Dana's call to let me know she had arrived. When the call came, I hopped out of my car, and moved to the rear of my vehicle to make room for her suitcase. I was bringing back a LOT of Christmas decorations to prepare our home for the holidays -- Winter WONDERland! Anyway. I drive a Toyota Rav4 with a swinging rear door. I opened the rear door and began rearranging boxes and packages, then turned to see if Dana had indeed spotted me and was headed my way. As I turned, a gust of wind caught the door, and swung it right into my head! It was so jarring, I was not certain I would stay on my feet. I grabbed the door to steady myself and waited for Dana to approach. I calmly told her that I'd just been hit in the head by the door at which point, she looked at me and said, "Where you're bleeding?" I said, "I'm bleeding!" She said, "Yes, above your eye." Oh. That would be where it hurt alright. We put her bag in the back and closed the door, then got into the car. By this time, there was blood running down the side of my cheek from a 1/2 inch gash above my right eye. We both remained strangely calm while Dana fished for a wet wipe and a Kleenex. I drove us home with both hands on the wheel, and allowed her to apply the appropriate bandages when we arrived at the house. I have no idea what kind of mark or bruising I'll have to show for all of this tomorrow, but I just wanted to warn all of you to beware of wind gusts! And, yes, for those of you who know my penchant for laughing at other people's misfortunate pains in life, I have had a very good laugh at myself over this one! I've laughed so hard, my face hurts, and my voice is hoarse, and my roommates had to tell me to stop crinkling up my eyes or the bandaids would never stick and I'd be scarred for life!

Thanksgiving

I love an excuse to get together with family and friends and enjoy being together and reflect on the blessings God's placed in our lives over the past year without the pressure of finding the right gifts for one another (at least not for another month!). Thanksgiving is quite possibly the perfect holiday in my opinion -- if only we could work some fireworks into it. So here's a list of some of the things I'm thankful for this year ...
My Job -- I love Meals on Wheels, and I have amazing coworkers. It's a privilege to enjoy going to work each day and to feel like what I do matters at the end of each day.
My Family -- we have been through a lot this year, but I think we've grown to appreciate one another and enjoy the times we have together more than ever before.
My Church Family and Friends -- I feel as though I am daily learning the significance of the being the Body of Christ and the depth of relationship we have been created to share with one another in the family of faith, and I am so thankful for it.
Scripture -- Psalm 37:3 says, "Dwell in the land and do good. Feed on His faithfulness." Psalm 94:19 says, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations will be my delight." Psalm 65:11 says, "You have crowned the year with bounty and your paths drip with fatness."
God's Unchanging Character -- Psalm 125:2 says, "As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds His people." God has revealed Himself to me in so many challenging and encouraging ways as I seek to have faith that pleases Him.
Godly Roommates -- It is such a blessing to come home at the end of a day and have wise and godly women to listen and counsel life's trials as well as celebrate life's joys.
Laughter -- Proverbs says, "A merry heart does good like medicine." I am increasingly thankful for any opportunity to laugh until it hurts because then I know I am in the company of sweet friends.
Faithful Friends -- Proverbs 27:6 says, "The kisses of an enemy are deceitful, but faithful are the wounds of a friend." I am thankful for honest friends who speak truth in love, who know me well and love me anyway.
Travel -- few things in life make me more aware of the abundance around me than a trip around the world to find out what is really important
God's Sovereignty -- Can I tell you that I am thankful to serve a God I do not understand? I am so glad to know that He knows better than I do, and that His thoughts and His ways are infinitely better than mine.
Seaons -- We've had an extra-long summer in Texas, but as the air finally turns cooler, I am so glad to be reminded that life is all about seasons and they do change.
A Hope and a Future -- I have been reminded this year that it is God who calls me, God who keeps me, and God who knows where I go from here, and He is completely trustworthy.
The Voice of Truth -- John 10:4-5 says, "When he (the Shepherd) puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow Him because they know His voice. A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers." I learned that verse in elementary Sunday School, and I remember praying that I would know the Voice of the Lord, and it's been such a blessing this year to find out how He has answered that prayer of childhood faith by affirming His direction for me over and over again.
And, of course ... Gilmore Girls! -- you didn't really think I'd leave them out, did you? ;-P
What are you thankful for?

Best Laid Plans ...

Lingerie showers are a Southern tradition for young brides-to-be. I've been involved in a number of them over the years as various friends have prepared for wedded bliss. It's an occassion when lots of silly screaming women, led by the all-knowing married ones, gather to "shower" the bride-to-be with frilly unmentionables to ignite the fires of passion in her new marriage. One of my current roommates is a soon-to-be bride for whom a lingerie shower was thrown this weekend. Female relatives arrived from all over the state of Texas to do their best to see if they could turn her cheeks crimson with embarassment. I was not a hostess for this party. I was not involved in the planning of it in anyway. I was truly to be an innocent bystander this time. But, as things would go, there was much to do at the last minute and certain tasks had to be accomplished. That is how I ended up assigned with the task of icing the cake. No problem, right? I've frosted many cakes in my time, but never one shaped quite like this. How should I say it? It was in the shape of a very specific part of the male anatomy. We'll leave it at that. Not only do the girls in charge of this party leave me to frost this cake, I'm also in charge of being sure Mimi, my roommate's grandmother who has been left out of this party, doesn't see it! I waited for Mimi to go upstairs for something, then quickly spread the icing over the cake, covered it, and put it back in its hiding place on a chair tucked under the kitchen table. My other roommate and I waited until the very last minute to grab the cake and run out the door with a quick "see you later" to Mimi called over our shoulders. The party was much fun. There was lots of laughter, particularly over the story of hiding the cake from Mimi. We came home several hours later to a very calm Mimi, sitting in a chair downstairs mending felt puppets, and we were surprised to see a sparkling clean kitchen awaiting us. "Mimi, you cleaned!" we each exclaimed as we noticed her kind deed. "Yes, I did," she said calmly in her polite British accent, "and I put that 'ugly' pan in the very bottom drawer!" she finished with a hmph! Gales of laughter rang through the house as the realization that all of our efforts to hide the cake had been in vain dawned on each of us. We tried very hard to look serious as the cutest 83 year old British woman I have ever seen chided us, "You girls and the things you talk about!" Hmph, indeed. ;-)

Bill and Gladys

Bill and Gladys could make a fine cartoon strip in my mind. One visit with them provides weeks worth of entertainment. They are a couple in their 80's and have been on Meals on Wheels for as long as anyone can remember. Their home is dark and smells strongly of dust and cigarette smoke. Bill rarely has a shirt on, sports a 2-3 day growth on his face, and is always drinking very thick, black coffee. Gladys generally stays in her chair, shouting her insults at Bill and smoking her never ending chain of cigarettes. On this particular day, we were discussing health problems. Bill reports Gladys has an overactive bladder. Gladys grunts her agreement with the diagnosis and adds that it gives new meaning to an old nick name, "Happy Bottom," then she grins with a michievous smirk waiting for me to get it, and finally supplies the clue, "Glad - Ass." She chortles loudly over this and displays a doll with a personalized bib that reads "Happy Bottom: Gladys." Bill snorts and moves on with his account of his last visit to the doctor. He's not going back for the results of his bone density test because they want to put him in "one of those tubes" to check for cancer. He says he, "ain't got no cancer." He "don't even have a prostate," he bluntly informs me, watching my face carefully for a reaction. "The hell you don't!," Gladys yells, "everybody got a damn prostate." "Nope," continues Bill, "Brodie took it." "What's Brodie gonna do with it? Play?!" Gladys retorts. At this point, I really must stop them. "Who is Brodie?" I ask. Bill winks. "He's my urologist." Evidently, Brodie wanted to do some radiation and Bill told him to just cut it out. At some point in this exchange, I was distracted by some unfolding drama on the TV. "You watch that stuff?" Bill asks in disgust. "No, but I catch bits and pieces in other people's homes," I say. "Oh, well, Happy Bottom over there watches four of 'em every day!" Gladys smiles and says, "Yup," and proceeds to list all of her regular soaps. I tell her I like to read. Gladys says she does, too. In fact, she's got lots of books and will give me one to take. We go into the kitchen, but she's distracted by some pictures. As she flips through them, telling me who each one is, I begin to notice that pictures of her sister, her oldest daughter "the brunette," and her mother are all the same person. We finally move on to her books. She hands me copies of "Prisoner of Passion" and "The Naked Face" -- things I am certain will have me thrown out of seminary if found in my possession. She says, "They all have a little sex in them, but I am old." ?!?!?! We walk back into the den. "You loaded up with some x-rated reading?" Bill asks. "Oh, shut up, Bill. You're too young to read this stuff anyway," Gladys shouts. "Bye, y'all. Have a good day. Stay warm and be nice to each other," I smile as I back out of the front door. When I got home, I wrapped the books in a sack from our local Christian bookstore and put them in the trash. :-\

Why?

Why is this site so funny to me?

Funeral Instructions

I'm accompanying my mom this afternoon to the memorial service for one of her best friends from college. Becky and her husband were killed in a car wreck last weekend, and mom's friends from all over Texas and several other states will meet in Mexia this afternoon to remember and celebrate Becky's life and the influence she had on all of them. I probably only met Becky two or three times in my whole life, but I've heard her name and the stories of her infamy many times over the years. My quiet, reserved mother gets a twinkle in her eye when starts to tell a story about one of Becky's exploits, and while I know that all of the women planning to meet in Mexia this afternoon are grieved by her loss, it's hard to miss the sense of excitement and anticipation among them as they look forward to being together again -- some for the first time in 30 years. Becky was a Christian and she loved these women and they all seem to feel a profound sense of appreciation for her role in their lives, even if it was only for a short time.
Funerals, especially ones for people who seem too young, who die unexpectedly always make me begin thinking about leaving a legacy. How will I be remembered? What will people say about me when I'm gone? Will they know how much I loved them? Will they know that everything good in me was from Jesus?
Beyond that, I need to make sure all of you know my wishes. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and the list of instructions for how to commemorate my passing is growing. First of all, I wish that all of my friends who are so inclined would shoe polish their cars with the words "Dance with Jesus, Kristen" and the dates of my life and death. I'd like you to all wear purple. And, finally, I would like you to be certain that there is a karaoke machine set up at the viewing, so people don't get bored. And be sure my friend, Lauren, sings "I Know Where I'm Going" by the Judds. ;-) Always remember, I love to laugh!
How do you want to be commemorated?

Did You Know?

Did all of you know Lottie Moon was a midget and no one think to tell me?!
She was only 4'3"! Who knew? I didn't! I don't know why it matters. It just seems like something I should have heard at some point along the way!

You Are God Alone

I heard a sermon in class last night about the fact that praising God through trial or pain is not a natural reaction but a choice. I've been thinking about it a lot today. You see, I preached last night, too, and for whatever reason, I always experience a "slump" the day after any ministry opportunity or assignment. Today's been no different. Emotions run high. Feelings run low. Everything feels out of whack. So, what do I do with it all? Wallowing is VERY tempting. But, I keep hearing "praise is a choice!" in my head, and I want to choose it. The following lyrics are from a song I first heard a few months ago. It's quickly becoming a favorite. Today, I choose to praise and give thanks to a God who does not bow to my temper tantrums, who is bigger than my imagination, and who always gives me His best.

You are not a god Created by human hands
You are not a god Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

[chorus]
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
You are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

[chorus]

[bridge]
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end;23 they are new every morning;great is Your faithfulness.24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in Him.”
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,to the soul who seeks Him.26 It is good that one should wait quietlyfor the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22-26

Gilmore Girls

In case you were wondering, I do yell "Gilmore Girls!" when the music comes on, even when I'm home alone.

An Evening on Fantana Island

The Women on Wonder Drive and Friends had a fabulous evening on Fantana Island. Thanks to all who came and participated, and especially to those who helped us decorate

!

Fanta! Fanta! Don't Ya Wanta?

That took some time!

Fantalicious!

Trey ... hunting season start THIS weekend!

The Williams -- enough said.

More Visitors to Fantana Island

The G.Lovers traveled the farthest to party with us!

Alice in Wonderland!

Dr. and Mrs. P???

Josh, does Dr. Patterson know about this???

We had all kinds of "pi-rats!"

Cody, is that a woman's blouse???

These are our friends from across the street. Zorro helps me mow the yard sometimes, and Sparkle Witch likes to help in the kitchen.

Healthy Respect?

For nearly a year now, I have been praying about and seeking a better understanding of what it means to "fear the Lord." This is a phrase that is repeated often in scripture and there is great promise for the one who fears the Lord. I think that Lex has come up with one of the best explanations of this concept I've heard yet. Check out what he has to say!

Everybody's doing it ...

Whaddayaknow?!


You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizzilla

Lyrics

Is it ever the case with you, that when you're not necessarily spending time with the Lord, in His Word with the focus and discipline that you once did, that He begins to speak to you through songs? This seems to be the case with me. There are times, I honestly feel like he walks in my room and starts singing through the radio. :-) Yesterday, was a day when lyrics to songs began to really speak to me. The following lyrics are from a song by Sara Groves. I've only heard the song once, but it really seems to say what's been on my heart for the last couple of weeks.

Hello Lord - Sara Groves

Hello Lord, it's me your child /I have a few things on my mind /Right now I'm faced with big decisions / And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz /Right now I don't hear so well /And I was wondering if you could speak up I know that you tore the veil /So I could sit with you in person /And hear what you're saying but /Right now, I just can't hear you. I don't doubt your sovereignty /I doubt my own ability to /Hear what you're saying /And to do the right thing /And I desperately want to do the right thing /But right now I don't hear so well And I was wondering if you could speak up /I know that you tore the veil /So I could sit with you in person /And hear what you're saying but /Right now, I just can't hear you. /And somewhere in the back of my mind /I think you are telling me to wait And though patience has never been mine /Lord, I will wait to hear from you /Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you Right now I don't hear so well /And I was wondering if you could speak up /I know that you tore the veil /So I could sit with you in person /And hear what you're saying but Right now, I think you're whispering

10 Things that Keep My Job Interesting

10. Blind people tell me I'm beautiful.
9. Dirty Old Men are always asking me for a hug.
8. After work, I get to go to class smelling like bacon (if I'm lucky) or dog pee (if I'm not!).
7. Pet owners think I enjoy feeding treats to their slobbery dogs with my bare hands.
6. Ranting phone messages from paranoid old men who think that the salt in our food counteracts their Viagra.
5. Finding out that the state does renew driver's licenses for 92 year old women without a vision test.
4. Prentending to eat (and enjoy!) cookies made by LOL's (little old ladies) who can neither see well enough to clean a kitchen nor smell well enough to know when the cookies are "done."
3. Homebound clients who never get their meals because they're out walking their dogs.
2. People with calendars from 1972 on the wall telling me they've "been meaning to clean the place up" and will get to it "soon."
1. Finding out that I'll never be tomorrow who I'm not practicing to be today.

I'm Angry

Last December, I was sending out a letter to the volunteers who help deliver Pet Food for Meals on Wheels clients. I am the coordinator for this program, and the letter was written from me, signed by me, with personal thoughts and wishes for my wonderful volunteers. I gave it to my boss, who immediately skimmed it, said, "looks fine," then as I turned to copy it, added, "you know you can't say 'Merry Christmas' on there." What?! Why can't I? Because she's not a Christian, I can't say Merry Christmas? I didn't push this issue, but it didn't set well with me either. I didn't change the letter to "Seasons Greetings" either, I just ended with a general "Sincerely." Today, I was working in a different area of our building where a note is posted for some of our volunteers reminding them about a special offer for our clients. It was signed cheerfully by one of my co-workers, "Happy Halloween." Maybe later, I'll write a post about how I feel about Halloween, but just suffice it to say that the notion that it is not okay for me to wish someone a Merry Celebration of the Incarnation, the coming of my Lord and Savior with grace and peace to all men, but she can, without fear post a public comment saying "Happy Celebration of all things Dark" makes me angry. Humph!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, Holly's VCR broke, and she wasn't going to be able to tape Survivor or Gilmore Girls, and this was truly tragic, so we drove to Walmart to look for an inexpensive replacement. That's when we found it. The most fabulous VCR known to man, and ... it was on sale! It's blue with read and white buttons and a yellow door to slide the tapes into, and the best part yet ... the remote control. Yes, the remote control is a Pokemon stuffed animal with feet labeled "Play" and "Stop" and hands labeled "FF" and "Rew" and a tummy labeled "power" (that's a different post!). Then, Holly got engaged and got to register for new stuff and decided she no longer needed a Pokemon VCR. That's how it came to be in my possession. But, my roommates also own their own VCRs that are not quite as fabulous as this one, but since they're already plugged in, we haven't moved them. That's how this fabulous piece of equipment came to be sitting in the chair in my room tonight and the subject of this blog. It's just sitting there and Pokemon looks bored.

Yom Horton

In high school, it was Heather Sue who first instituted "birthday week, " organizing my friends so that I had a card or gift to open each day of the week around the big day. When I went off to college, she continued the tradition by sending me "birthday-week-in-a-box" with gifts and cards labeled to be opened one at a time the week leading up to the blessed event. Observing this phenomenon, my college friends labeled my birthday "Yom Horton" because they say it is a birthday that lasts longer than a Jewish holiday. Last year, my Fort Worth friends took Yom Horton to a whole new level with what felt like a week long extravaganza. Complete, of course, with a tiara that lit up and blinked! This year, my plan has been to be a bit more subdued about this latest anniversary of my birth, but the best friends in the world have already spoiled me rotten and it's not even 10:00 a.m. yet. Thanks for the phone calls, e-cards, and surprises on my car this morning! Y'all are the best. Oh! I have to go. They just made the announcement over the P.A. at work that we need to blow out candles in the break room! ;-)

Tired Head

My dad uses a phrase I'm pretty sure he picked up from Sports Talk Radio - "Tired Head" - It's his expression for anything that just wears him out. Long, detailed discussions about inconsequential things give him tired head. Chick flicks give him tired head. People with little common sense give him tired head. Today, I have tired head. It's becoming a common condition about this time on Tuesday and Thursday mornings as I leave a class called Philosophy of Religion. I am not a good circular or abstract thinker, and this class really calls upon me to do a lot of that. Philosophy of Religion gives me tired head. So do people who are unaware that the universe does not revolve around their schedules. Animal lovers who allow their pets to take priority over people give me tired head. Busy signals give me tired head. PawPaws driving 50 on the highway in the Left lane give me tired head. What gives you tired head?

Rant Against Mr. Poopyhead

I have a friend who is serving as a missionary in an undisclosed location who writes emails back to us in "code" to disguise distinctly Christian or religious language. Her "code" word for Satan is Mr. Poopyhead. I had a very hard time with this one at first. It just makes me feel silly to say it, but the more I've used it, the more I realize that it really is appropriate. While he may be a formidable foe, there is an infinite chasm between his power and that of our Infinite, Almighty God of Glory, the very One we call Father. Lately, I have experienced seasons of doubt and discouragement in my own life, times of trial that seem to come just when there is much work to be done for the Kingdom. Then, just in the last week, I have visited with three different couples, specifically with wives of men in ministry, whose families are being attacked and the primary weapon is shaped as a big old fat lie. It's truly disgusting. I get so tired of seeing, young, godly families and homes under such vicious attack. Then, I must ask myself what part I am playing in this battle? Am I providing the support that they need to continue to fight boldly by lifting them before the Father confidently? It is remiss of us to ignore the truth about this war. It's real and it's raging, and we pretending like it's not happening is only serving to further the cause of darkness. Shed light in dark places by proclaiming truth. Jesus came that we may have life abundant ... it is the thief that comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I read a quote this morning that said that God does not call us to things that bind us, only to to things that set us free. Walk boldly in obedience and seek freedom, for yourself and for those God's given you to pray over. Frustrate Mr. Poopyhead. Greater is He that is us than he that is in the world. I long for us to be people of the Word of God, standing firm on the promises of God, confident that It is alive and active and sharper than any two-edged sword. Precious Saints, do not surrender. Your witness, your integrity, your families, the lives of your friends are at stake. I pray you will stand firm, holding up the shield of faith, being confident that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.

Psalm 42, My Style

I took this morning off. I didn't set my alarm. I woke up about 30 minutes after church started. I lay in bed, enjoying the quiet of the house and talking to the Lord about some of the things on my heart. I got up slowly, enjoyed reading and writing leisurely. It probably seems very unorthodox to skip church to spend time with the Lord, but deep in my spirit, as I prepared to sleep last night, I was aware that more than I need to be with my brothers and sisters this morning, more than I needed to see or be seen, I needed to hear from the Lord. He is so kind to come and meet with us when we call upon Him. In my reading, my attention was turned to Psalm 42 this morning. I have been meditating on it, and I plan to continue to keep it before me this week. This is the way it spoke to me this morning ...

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God.
Just like a deer gets really thirsty and can think of nothing but finding a cool, refreshing stream, so my soul thirsts for a refreshing sense of Your Presence, Lord.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?
The innermost part of me is crying out for God, for the true and living God who is able to move and work on my behalf. When can I come and know His presence again?
My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Grief and sadness have become a way of life for me while others stand around and mock me, asking me about God's whereabouts in the midst of my tears.
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God. With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.
I remember how things used to be and I pour it all out again. I remember how I used to go with a crowd around me into worship, leading others even, into the house of God. My voice was raised with others in joy and thanksgiving.
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. For the help of His presence.
Hey, Self, why are you so down? Why are you so restless and doubting? Put your confident expectation in God, for you will praise Him again. You will join and lead the flock in praise and thanksgiving again. You will praise Him for the way that His presence helped you from despair.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore, I remember You from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Father God, my heart hurts and my spirit is downcast; therefore, I remember you in the midst of my exile and captivity, in this place where you are not readily visible.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have rolled over me.
These things seem to drown me at times, but then you come, and your words, your peace, your truth rolls over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.
The Lord will command that I see and know his gracious goodness, his unfailing love during the day. His song will be the lullabye that lets me rest peacefully in the darkness, my confidence in these truths will be a prayer to Him, the God who holds my life.
I will say to God my rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Wy do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, while they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
I will say to God, my stronghold, my secure place of rest, "Why does it feel like you've forgotten me? Why must I endure this season of grieving because of an enemy that is so much less powerful than I knwo you are?" My adversaries look down on me and keep asking me where My God is.
Why are you in despair, O my Soul? Why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God for I shall yet praise Him, the Help of my countenance and my God.
Hey, Self, knowing all of these things, why are you holding onto that despair? Why do you let those weak enemies get to you? Put your confident expectation in God for you will praise Him again. He is the one who makes your face glow with peace and confidcence. He is your God!

Psalm 126

This weekend, I attended a simulcast at Travis Avenue Baptist Church where Beth Moore spoke to us about the message of Psalm 126. Here's what is says ...

When the Lord brought back the captive ones of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Our mouth was filled with laughter,
our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our captivity, O Lord,
As the streams in the South.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
shall indeed come again with a shout of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.

I won't try to summarize the messages of the weekend for you, but I will say this one thing that is on my heart as I continue to meditate on this passage. As someone who has not traditionally cried easily or often, I have found myself growing increasingly emotional in life, especially about things regarding the precious work of God's grace in my life and the lives of people around me. This has frustrated me at times because I wasn't used to crying and my own tears made me uncomfortable. This weekend, I can't help but think that if there is anything worth crying over in life, the Word of God and the desire to see Him working and moving around me is worth the "shame" of tears. :-)

Laughs A Lot

A new friend stated an observation yesterday that made me ... well ... it made me laugh. :-) We have been studying together for the last week, in preparation for a Philosophy midterm tomorrow morning. Philosophy is not my favorite thing, and trying to think philosophically often gives me "tired head" as Big Dave would put it. However, as we were leaving a study session yesterday, my friend observed, "Kristen, you strike me as someone who likes to laugh a lot." I don't know why this was so funny to me -- maybe because for those of you who know me well, you recognize that this just might be the understatement of the century. It reminded me fondly of the husband of one of my dear friends. He and I did not hit it off initially, but down the road, he told me, "Kristen, you just laughed all the time, and I know that life is funny, but come on, it's not that funny!" I took that comment to heart and thought on it a good, long while. Eventually, I quit worrying about it, but when a similar observation was made yesterday, I began to think on it again. Is there such a thing as laughing too much? Maybe. Do I fall into that category? I think not. Here's my conclusion. There are a few things in life that are very serious and should be treated as such. The rest of life is just fodder for comedy and blogging. Just in case you were wondering, I took a quiz a few weeks ago to find out which Care Bear I most resemble. The results are in. The Care Bear I have the most in common with is ... (drum roll please) ... Laughs-a-Lot Bear!

Promise Me

Promise me that when we are old and gray you will not buy a teal colored RV, but if you cannot promise me that, promise me that when you buy your teal colored RV, you will not pull a bright red pickup behind it. It just hurts my eyes. I think it hurts my feelings, too. I'm not exactly sure how that works. I just know that it offends all of my sensebilities to see that going down the road.

Shout Out to My Girls

These are the lovely ladies affectionately known as the "Yam Yam Sisterhood." Most of us met in a Sunday School Class in the Young Adult Ministry (YAM) about four years ago. We grew together as friends and sisters through times of prayer, a few tears, and a lot of laughter. We are literally spread around the globe now. Three are married. Two are teachers (one is teaching in a foreign country!). One is working on a PhD. One has moved back home to care for her grandmother and finish up her seminary work. Three of us are finishing seminary here and prayerfully deciding where to go next. One is working on her masters in Science Education. In the time that we've been friends, we have served the Lord Peru, Central Asia, Chicago, Mexico, and The U.A.E. We have been youth leaders, children's ministers, Sunday School teachers, and worship musicians. These are some of the most beautiful, creative, amazing women I've ever had the pleasure of "doing life" with. I am so proud of each of you and so thankful for the blessing you are to me. You have taught me many things, and I wouldn't trade a second of our times together. This picture was taken a year and a half ago -- my how time flies!

Guilty Pleasure

I try not to be addicted to more than one TV show a season, and for the past two years, it's been Gilmore Girls all the way. That isn't to say that I don't enjoy American Idol or CSI or even the occassional hour of Reba, but I try not to plan my week around more than one hour of TV a week. However, living in the Wonder House more or less requires that one follow LOST. I thought this was sort of silly when I first moved in, but it's week two of the season now, and I'm totally fascinated. I don't even like science fiction, and you have to consider this show's plot line purely sci fi! But, suspense gets me every time. So, I'm just curious -- what guilty pleasure do you indulge?

Why I Love Walmart

I went to WalMart with a friend the other day. When we came back to the house, I unloaded one bag with three items in it -- baby shoes, milk, and Mr. Clean mopping agent. Can't beat it, folks! Just can't beat it!

What Will They Think of Next?

Check this out!
(Props to Egbert for the link!)

A Dirty Trick

Two years ago when the church I was attending decided to have a photo directory printed, I dutifully signed up for a time to have my picture made and smiled my best smile for the camera. Heck, I went all out and even bought a set of pictures for Mom, Dad, and all the G'rents. But, this year, when our church announced plans for a pictoral directory, I turned on my selective hearing and chose to ignore the announcements about signing up for times to have my picture made. Then, when they had an unknown lady from the photography company call my home to make me aware that I had not signed up for a photo op yet, I accidentally erased the message before I could write down the number to call her back. With photos scheduled less than a week away, I really thought I was in the clear. Then, tonight, I was home alone for a quiet evening of watching TV and cookie baking, when the sucker punch came. My cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I had no reason to suspect anything amiss, so I answered it. A sweet sounding elderly gentleman's voice greets me, and identifies himself as "Mr. Weir from Meadowridge Baptist Church." The name doesn't ring a bell, but I know that I don't know everyone, so I continue listening to find out how I can help him. He then mentions the name of a friend's dad, a leader in our senior adult Sunday School department. He says, "Mr. Ballard and I are putting together the church pictoral directory project, and we are contacting all of our members who have not signed up to have their picture made to be sure you get into the directory." Caught! "Yes sir," I reply politely, so he coninues, "You see, Kristen, it's important for people like me who don't have such a good memory to have a picture to put with a name so that we can get to know the members of our church. I know you want to help us out with this." The problem was, he was completely sincere. He didn't even know he was foiling my plan. It was a dirty, dirty trick.

Rambling about Love

So, I'm working on a sermon for class next Monday night from I Corinthians 13. I had originally planned to preach verses 4-7 and call it "Love Hurts" talking about how loving the way that we are called to love based on the character of agape love is a painful process, one best modeled by Christ's own suffering. However, as I've studied this week, I'm drawn repeatedly to verses 1-3 about the necessity of love. It appears that chapter 13 is a parenthetical statement, inserted between chapter 12, an exposition of Spiritual Gifts, and chapter 14, Paul's exortation to pursue the gift of prophecy. It would seem more appropriate for John, the Beloved disciple, to write about love, but instead, it is Paul who says, without it we are nothing. This was a lesson that first became real to me on the mission field in Guadalajara several years ago. I spoke the language just fine, was educated and skilled in it way beyond my partner, but I did not love the people there. My heart was home, with friends and family in Texas, and I failed miserably to communicate anything eternal because I attempted to do it all without a sincere agape. This summer, I began praying for an increased faith -- faith to move mountains as it were -- and I have experienced rich blessing in that, but I have also seen that faith like that without the empowerment of love, accomplishes little. And, as we are regularly called on to give sacrificially, and others may benefit from our giving, it is clear that gifts without a heart of compassion, truly committed to the love of the poor and needy, profits me nothing. These are the things I can speak about with confidence and experience. It's when I get to that list in verses 4-7 that things get harder. I am learning to love even when it's painful, but I cannot say that I have learned to love like this. The beautiful thing about it is that as I learn more to love like this, I can be assured that I am beginning to look more and more like the Lord. Of all the things that God could say about Himself in scripture, He says He is love. Ephesians 5:1 says to be an imitator of God as dearly loved children. Imitating God is learning to love with agape love. Patient, kind, humble, gentle, selfless and on and on. Whew! This could take a lifetime. I think that I have been most captured by this passage because it caught me off guard. I mean, I thought it was just there to be read at Wedding Ceremonies. It's supposed to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside isn't it? Then, I started really thinking about this kind of love and what it takes to flesh it out. It's painful. Love Hurts. I tried telling God about it, about how I couldn't love like that because I would end up getting hurt over and over again, taken advantage of and taken for granted, repeatedly disappointed, and probably disregarded. He said, "I know."

My New Favorite Poem

Light Shining Out of Darkness
By: William Cowper

God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the LORD by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence,
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
GOD is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

Shout Out to Dad

Hey, Daddy - this post is for you! If I'd known you were reading, I'd have written sooner. Sorry you're stuck at the house with the worker men, but I can't wait to see the finished product! Love you! Kristi

Waiting On the Lord

Have you ever had a Bible verse haunt you? You know, one that comes up repeatedly in your life through a variety of sources? One that you can't seem to escape even in the most mundane tasks? One that gives you pause each time you see it? One with a meaning you can't fully grasp but desire to understand more fully? Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord." It's not complicated. It's not long. It's words don't require a dictionary. I have known about this verse for some time, but about six months ago, it came to me in a new light, and I have not been able to escape it since. I read it again yesterday, on a flip calendar in my room. You know, the ones with a verse for every day that you only turn about once a week. Yeah, I chose yesterday to turn it and read it, and was frozen by this verse again. I do not yet know what it means to "wait" on the Lord. I have tried hard to work at waiting, and I think this must give God a great smile. Afterall, isn't the whole idea of waiting, to cease my own striving and efforts and believe that He can and will work things out according to His good plan and purpose in my life? I think it must be. Waiting means that it's not about me, and I can't fix it. Waiting means believing and trusting completely and peacefully that God can and will do a better job orchestrating life that I would. Waiting means throwing myself at His mercy and believing that He will renew my strength and see that I will walk and not grow weary ... Yeah, you know that one, too. ;-) So, what do you know about waiting on the Lord? Or, what verses/concepts in scripture haunt you in a similar way these days?

What Should Have Been Your First Clue?

The other day, a friend and I were discussing relationships that just didn't work out and often found ourselves saying, "That should have been my first clue!" My favorite from her was a boy that couldn't figure out where to put the oil in her car even though there was a clearly labeled spout. My most obvious was the boy who didn't like football -- if you know ANYTHING about me or my family, you know that would just never fly. So, now I'm asking you. As you reflect on relationships that didn't work out, what should have been your first clue?

Hope

Tell me what this passage means for you ...

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Assignment America

Can you use the term "Go-Daddy" in a sentence?

I Rest My Case

So I got a phone call from a good friend who recently started seminary at a small school in another state. I tried to warn her about would be stalkers, but I could tell I just wasn't getting through to her. I finally just asked her to promise me she'd call when she met "Stalker #1." Today, after less than a week of classes at her school, the phone rang. Here's how the story goes: J walks into class and sits down with seven other students, all male. Stalker #1 walks in late, sits beside her and picks up her Bible and begins reading notes in the margin and checking out papers stuck between the pages. As they go around the class to introduce themselves, Numero Uno states his name, states his European country of origin, and then informs the room that he is indeed single. Shocking, isn't it? During the break, he follows her out into the hall and begins conversation by asking her about her passion, what she plans to do with her life and how she feels about European missions, specifically, would she like to come to his country? They return to class for him spend the next hour staring at her, follow her back out toward the parking lot, ask her if she indeed has a car, and even though she tells him that she does have a car, he says to her, "Well if you ever need a ride, call me. In fact, where do you live?" I'm not sure how she responded, but I'm pretty sure her next thought was "Yeah right!"

You Haven't Lived Until ...

So, I'm going to tell you about one of the lighter moments of my weekend. My cousins and I watched Napoleon Dynamite with my Mom, Dad, Uncle and Aunt. Trust me folks, you haven't lived until your parents are quoting Napoleon Dynamite -- not just to you, but to each other! Here's how it went in the car yesterday morning, leaving with breakfast from the Whataburger in Corpus Christi:
Dad to Mom: "Hey, Steph, give me some of your tots."
Mom to Dad" "Get your own tots!"
Dad: "Gosh!"
Mom: heavy, annoyed sigh
And, then, they crack up laughing at themselves, while I'm sitting in the backseat in utter shock and disbelief. Wow.

But a Vapor

Daddy and I drove to Corpus Christi this morning to spend the weekend with my Mom's family. Mom flew down earlier in the week to help out around my grandparents' house as we all attempt to grasp the reality of Pappy's cancer. The doctor told us yesterday that it is growing quickly and while he refuses to guess, he believes it will "go quickly." The 8 hour trip down here gave Daddy and I a lot of talk time, time to reflect on our memories of being with Pappy and even a little, tentative wondering about our own mortality. What things will we be remembered for? It was interesting to hear Daddy's perspective, and an excellent reminder for me about the brevity of life. Whether I make it to 78 or die tomorrow, this life is but a vapor. How do I make it count? There are heavy questions in my heart and mind as I pass the time here this afternoon. I watch my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins as well as my grandmother adjusting to a new way of life, a new family dynamic, and I'm looking for my role in it all, too. Remember us in your thoughts and prayers this weekend, okay? ;-)

Advice for the Would Be Stalker

Okay, so I've been on a serious crusade against seminary stalker boys for years now. There are some great guys around here, I'm know, but I have met very few of them because of my fear of the boys that always manage to get to me or a helpless friend first. So, I've decided to offer some wisdom to you would-be stalkers, help you out a little. Most of you are very well-meaning, I think. But, some social education would do you some good. First, if you want a girl's phone number, email or home address, ask her for it. If she doesn't offer it or refuses to share that information with you, that's it. Stop. Do not ask her friends or google her or look over her shoulder when she's filling out forms in the library. Accept that you have not yet earned her trust in such a way that she wishes to be contacted outside of your classroom interaction. Second, just because a girl smiles or is polite to you does not mean that you now have an open invitation to stare at her through the duration of your next class together or that she was indicating her desire for a dinner invitation. Some girls, especially Southern girls, are just friendly. Third, should she smile and linger a while and should you ask her to dinner and should she accept the invitation, keep it casual. A first outing is not the time to interview her about where she would like to honeymoon or how many children she plans on having or how she feels about being a pastor's wife. Oh, and just one more thing for now ... pushing that button with the handicap sign on it that automatically opens the doors around campus is not chivalry. Just in case you were confused. ;-)

Doctors and Cowboys

So, I'm now in my third day of staying home with a nasty sinus infection. I'm past contagious, but still too weak to be much use to the old people at Meals on Wheels. I haven't done a lot except read other people's blogs and watch the news. I'm horrified by events in New Orleans, but there's more than enough ranting going on for me to need to add my thoughts. I'll just say "ditto." I'm here to confess that the reason I'm probably home today is that I went to the Cowboys vs. J'ville game last night. I couldn't resist. A good friend had an extra ticket, and it just sounded like so much fun, and it was, but I'm definitely paying for it today. But, the Cowboys aren't even what I want to rant about today.
Today, I want to rant about going to the doctor. I don't like going to the doctor. I never have. I don't go nearly often enough. In fact, I couldn't even remember the name of the last doctor I saw when I was filling out my "new patient" chart yesterday. I sat in an icy cold waiting room for thirty minutes before being called back to sit in an icy cold examining room on some sterile strip of paper that makes the most annoying sound in the world whenever you move. I stared at blank walls for another 15 minutes before the good doctor arrived to ask me if I smoke? no drink? no am sexually active? no -- at this point, she looks up at me incredulously and says, "Well, do you do street drugs?" Can I tell you that it took everything in me not to look at her and say, "Yes, yes I do. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't sleep around, but I regularly inject my body with poison for the heck of it." Wow. I just said "no" and she stared a second longer, shook her head, and continued writing in her chart. She stuck probing instruments in my ears, my nose, and my throat, listened to me breathe a few times, and then told me that the stuff I'd bought over the counter at the pharmacy was just as good as anything, and I should proably just double the recommended dose for a while and buckle down for a rough allergy season. Then, to add insult to injury, she wrote me a prescription for some junk to spray up my nose a couple of times a day! Really?! Did I mention I PAID her for this?!